Page 28 of Faith for the Cowboy
Lawson physically recoiled and stepped back. “The church?” he asked. “Why? Did someone ask you to go by?”
“No,” she said. “I just felt like it was where I needed to be. Lawson, I went to pray.”
He stared at her in surprise. “Pray for my dad?” he asked.
She wanted to say yes and leave it at that, but she couldn’t. “Well, sort of. But more than that, I just felt like I needed to process everything that’s been going on, and I really felt like prayer was the best way to do it.”
Lawson crossed his arms. “Why would you say that? I didn’t think you believed in prayer.”
“Well, I didn’t, but being here with your family has changed my opinion about a lot of things. I know you don’t want to hear this, but I felt the power of God in that church today. He was there with me when I prayed. It was as if I could hear Him answering me. I could feel Him sitting next to me, and I always want that feeling. I’ve never had a relationship with God, but I know that He’s real. And I want that relationship with Him.”
Lawson shook his head. “But all the things that we talked about. I thought we agreed. And after this week? He let my dad have a heart attack. How could you pray to Him after that?”
“How could I not pray to Him after that? How could I not run to Him? The only one who could help, the only one who can do anything about the fact that your dad had a heart attack is God, Lawson. Bad things happen, but things don’t happen because God wants them to happen. They happen because we live in a broken world because of sin.”
Lawson shook his head and walked several steps away. “I can’t believe this,” he said. “Why would God let my dad, of all people, have a heart attack? Do you know what my parents do for this community, for the church, for everyone they meet?”
Harper nodded. “Of course I do. They let me stay in their home when they barely knew me. Who does that? Why would someone let a stranger come in, and then take care of them and feed them? After weeks of staying here, I finally figured out the answer. It’s because of Jesus. Jesus gave your parents a gift. He gave all of us a gift because He came and died when we didn’t deserve it. Your parents want to share that gift. Your parents live the way that they do because of God, but they don’t expect anything from Him. They don’t expect Him to give them a life with no problems. That’s not life. Instead, they want to do everything they can to serve other people, to show them Jesus.”
Lawson threw his hands up in the air. “I can’t listen to this,” he said exasperated. “I’ve heard it all before.”
Harper said, “Then why won’t you listen? You already know the truth, Lawson. I hope that you will learn to let it sit in your heart instead of your mind. I’m sorry that you’re upset, but I have never been more at peace.”
He looked at her, then sighed and gave her a slight smile. “I’m glad you have peace. Really, I am. If that’s what you need, then I’m happy for you.”
Harper pressed her lips together, trying to hide her disappointment. It wasn’t what she wanted to hear. But then again, she had taken a long time to get here. It wasn’t as if she could expect him to change his mind today just because she had. “Thanks, Lawson. That means a lot to me.”
“I need to get cleaned up before dinner,” Lawson said. “I hope we can talk some more later.”
Harper nodded. “Of course we can. I’ll see you at dinner.”
At the word "dinner," Lawson stopped in his tracks. He paused for a moment before turning to face her. “What are we going to do about dinner?”
“Don’t worry, Katie is taking care of it. She said she’s making enough taco meat for an army, and Sierra is bringing toppings.”
“We’re just about the size of an army,” he laughed. “Well, I’ll handle breakfast tomorrow, so if anyone says anything, let them know.”
“Okay. I’m sure that’s fine. Everyone is happy to pitch in.”
Lawson nodded before he turned again and walked into the house. Harper stood for a moment and watched the screen door slam shut. She bit her lip, hating the pressure he was putting on himself. She wanted him to know this wasn’t his fault, but if it had been her arguing with her dad, she would feel guilty too.
She squeezed her eyes shut. “God, I’m still new at this praying thing, but please help Lawson. He needs You. He’s hurting and feeling guilty, and I know that’s not what You want for him. Show him You’re real and that You care about him.” She opened her eyes and whispered, “Amen.”
20
Lawson sat in the most uncomfortable chair and shifted his weight from one side to the other as he glanced at the clock. It had only been four minutes since he last looked at it, even though it felt like half an hour. Everything at the hospital moved in slow motion. Even as he watched his dad’s chest rising and falling, it seemed slower than usual. Lawson had been obsessively checking the clock ever since the nurse said, “The doctor will be by to see you soon.”
He had finally given up and sent Mom for a break to get some coffee. She had barely left the room the past few days. Lawson had promised her he would call if the doctor came in and convinced her that stretching her legs and taking a breather would be good for her.
Not that he was taking his own advice. He was looking forward to his own coffee when Mom returned since he had been up before the sun. He shook his head to keep himself awake, trying to remember what time he had gone to bed last night. Every night for the last three nights, he had eaten dinner at the ranch then came back to the hospital to sit with his mom. He probably hadn’t even looked at the clock last night, but it had been late when he got home. He might have never left if the nurse hadn’t come in to insist that visiting hours were over for the night.
Dad stirred, and Lawson jumped up to stand by his side. He watched and waited to see if he would open his eyes and speak. Lawson would be ready if he needed a drink of water, or if he wanted to sit up in the bed. But Dad only shifted in the bed and continued sleeping.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, and Lawson grabbed it to shut off the noise before it could disturb Dad. “Hey,” he said, keeping his voice low and stepping to the door.
“Hey, how’s your dad?” Harper asked. Her voice was a balm to his soul. She called or texted multiple times a day, and she always started by asking how Dad was. It meant so much to Lawson that she was still here and that she knew what his main concern was. Even if it rubbed him the wrong way that he knew she was praying for his dad and for him.
“He’s okay. Sleeping right now, and we’re still waiting for the doctor to come in.”
