Page 21 of Faith for the Cowboy
Lawson paused a moment as his heart beat out a funny rhythm, and he uttered the words that were so true. "I came to see you.”
"Really?" Harper raised an eyebrow.
"Yes," Lawson said. "Can we sit down?”
"Sure," Harper answered. Her movements were hesitant as she walked toward the rocking chair and gently sat down, careful not to spill the hot liquid in her mug.
Lawson sat beside her and began to slowly rock back and forth. "How are you?" he asked.
"Fine," Harper said quickly.
He looked her in the eyes. "No, I mean, how are you really?”
Harper took a deep breath and let it out, and he could see the concern in her eyes. "Why are you asking?”
"Because I want to know how you are. I feel like we haven’t talked in days. And I care about you, Harper. I want to know how you are.”
She stared off across the front yard as they rocked their chairs in a quiet rhythm. "Honestly, I don’t know.”
Lawson's look of concern deepened. "You don’t know how you are?”
She turned one palm toward the sky and shrugged. "No. I’m so confused. Here I am on this beautiful ranch, where I sleep in a comfortable bed, eat delicious meals, and spend time with a wonderful family. Sometimes I feel like I could just stay here forever, but then I remember I’m only here because I’m stuck. If I had a car, I would be gone.”
"Really?" Lawson’s chest felt as if he’d been stabbed with a knife. "You want to leave?”
Harper shook her head. "I don’t know. Maybe. But if I had my car and had never come here, I would have missed out on all of this. The thought of that makes me so incredibly sad. I love it here. I like being with your family..." She paused and looked at him. "And with you.”
Lawson took her hand in his. "But you did come here. And we like having you here too. So why not enjoy the time you have? Stop worrying about what’s next and enjoy the now.”
"That sounds too easy. I don’t think life works that way. You can’t just live recklessly, doing whatever you want in the moment.”
Lawson sighed. "I want to say you’re right. I’ve lived my whole life on this ranch. We have fun, but we work hard. I’ve been careful to do the right things and follow the rules. But that’s not getting me where I want to be. When I decided to try riding bulls, I thought it would just be a crazy, one-time thing. Then I had to do it again, and again, and again. I found something I loved, and it wasn’t something that fit into my plan for the rest of my life. Harper, what if we take a chance? What if we take that ride and just see what happens? Even if it’s just for a time, I truly believe it will be the best time of my life.”
"What about when you get thrown off the bull? If you get hurt, is it worth it?”
Lawson grinned like a schoolboy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Every time.”
Harper laughed and playfully pushed him away. "I don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
Lawson’s expression turned serious. "Maybe not, but if it’s with you, Harper, I want to find out."
14
Lawson finished loading items into the back of his truck and closed the tailgate. “I hope we got everything on the list,” he said as he brushed his hands off.
Harper let out a giggle. “It was a funny sort of list. But I’m glad I got to see the feed store, and that your mom trusted me to help.” She didn’t say that she was pretty sure sending them on an errand had been a bit of a ploy to get them to spend time together. Surely Lawson had figured that out too.
Lawson started the ignition but didn’t put the truck in gear. He looked over at Harper. “We don’t really have to rush back. They can get along without me for a little while. Do you want to go for a drive? I’m just feeling like I don’t want to go back yet.”
“Sure,” Harper said. “A drive sounds nice.” With a quick nod, Lawson pulled out of the parking lot. Neither of them spoke for a while as they drove. Harper stared out the window and watched as the view of the buildings in town turned to acres of land. The number of houses grew less and less as they moved further away from town. She looked out over the widespread plains. She had spent time in Texas, but maybe she had never taken the time to really appreciate the vastness of it.
As they passed a gravel driveway with a sign that said Cedar Creek Ranch, Lawson pointed. “That’s where Riley works. He doesn’t spend as much time on the ranch when he’s working rodeos, but he still does some real cowboy work.”
“Is that where he taught you to ride broncs?” Harper asked.
“Yep, sure is. I remember the first time. Really, I was doing it almost as a joke. I asked Riley if he would let me try it once. I thought I might end up with a broken arm at the worst. I didn’t do too bad, and I fell in love with it. I came back the next day and asked him to teach me.”
Harper smiled. “That’s how it was with my brother. He was just a little kid when he saw a bull ride. He knew it was for him. And the first time that he rode a bronc, even though he got tossed, I knew he was hooked.”
