Page 10 of Thirteen Years
He started making small comments about my height and weight, what everyone probably thought of me when we were out in public, but don’t worry he loved me and my body. He wouldn’t change a thing. Further cementing my thoughts of needing him because no one else could ever find me attractive. He was dismayed at finding out he wasn’t my first in everything ironically. I had given my virginity away to a clumsy boy in high school that I thought I’d loved. Only to be rejected the next day. I hadn’t ever pursued love or sex again until Clark.
Clark promised me the best I’d ever had. The first few times we went to bed together it wasn’t bad. I never had an orgasm, but it was not as bad as fumbling in that high school boy’s parent’s basement when I was seventeen years old. But Clark also put my lack of satisfaction in bed on me. He was to initiate everything and it was to be how he wanted at all times. It was just the way it was. I wasn’t going to argue. He laughed when I’d bring up my love of romance books and told me they were fiction for a reason. He’d even used that against me and bought me a popular BDSM series, telling me I needed to take notes and lessons to be obedient. He was constantly twisting and using things I loved to make me appear worthless or dirty, including my love for these books. He had tried to tarnish something meant to be beautiful and based on mutual respect, turning it into something it wasn’t.
When we got married things got steadily worse. I was forced to give up my cleaning business that I had worked so hard to save up for. Clark didn’t like me cleaning for other men and he wanted to take care of me. It was around this time he started treating me like I was stupid. Making fun of me for telling him I wanted more in the bedroom, or telling him I wanted a child. He started getting physically abusive soon after ending my request for children in fear that he would do the same to them. I just figured if it was just me, and this was my lot in life, I could deal with it. Maybe this was how relationships and marriage were meant to be?
Sex became painful because he stopped even attempting foreplay, so I stopped asking for it. Just would randomly get a text that would tell me he was in the mood and to take my pants off and lay down on my bed. He’d even started sleeping on the sofa, away from me.
I paused flashing back in my mind.
One night I had the sheer audacity to text back that I wasn’t feeling well and wasn’t in the mood.
Footsteps pounded down the short hall from his couch in the living room to where our bedroom was in the back of the apartment. I remember my head jerking up when he threw the door open knowing I’d messed up. He was on me in seconds and I couldn’t even form the word no, did I have a right to say no to my husband? I just turned my head and cried as he told me to shut my mouth, that I’d always begged for it, so I could take it without complaint.
After he finished he stood up and had the audacity to ask me what was wrong, because I just laid there crying, he laughed when I didn’t answer and told me “Well, hey, I finished in you. Maybe you’ll get that baby you were bothering me about.”
I’ve never been so terrified that he may be right.
I blinked, coming back to myself as I took a small sip of wine to hide the awkward silence. Maybe this was more than Monica had asked for? I was leaving out some of the more graphic details as I reached the night where I’d gotten rid of the pregnancy test in the dumpster.
Monica stared at me with wide eyes, “And you got away from the asshole then, right?”
Chapter 05
Friday nights around this town were so slow sometimes. I was typing up my report at the end of my shift. It had been a busier one than usual. There had been a break in at a local cleaning company earlier that afternoon that closed early on Fridays. The owner was very frazzled as it had never happened before and there was hardly any trouble like that in our town. It concerned me a bit as nothing had been stolen or taken.
The owner's office had been literally torn apart with files thrown every which way. They had gotten everything back together and came to the conclusion that nothing had been taken. But it was concerning that whomever had broken in seemed to only be concerned about employees that had worked there previously and currently.
I scrubbed my hand over my short beard as I considered it. Stranger things had happened and we did have the occasional break in. It just felt off and something was nagging at me about it. It coincided with that Larry guy’s inquisitions about someone new in town and I didn’t like the way things were adding up.
“Hey man. Did you find anything else out from that break-in?” Paul asked, plopping down in his usual place across from my desk, nodding at Nick as he headed out the door.
“Nah, nothing was stolen or taken. Just employee files had been gone through. But none of that was even taken. Weirdest fucking thing ever.”
Paul’s eyebrows came down as he thought. I finished up typing and saved the file, sitting back in my chair and watching him.
We often bounced theories back and forth. We thought so alike regarding cases it was incredibly beneficial that we were partners and often worked together.
“Maybe a disgruntled ex-employee?” he theorized.
“Could be,” I agreed. “I’ll keep it open for a while and see if anything else transpires. Any similar break ins. I don’t think much will come of it,” tapping my fingers absentmindedly on the desk, I scowled at my computer monitor.
“And all the security was cut off?” he asked, breaking my train of thought.
“Yep, not a damn camera was running for about an hour and a half. Whoever it was knew their way around electronically. The alarm system didn’t even go off. The owners were only aware when they got there this morning.”
Paul sighed and glanced at his phone. A grin came over his face and he glanced up at me.
“What?” I asked drily. I never knew what was going to come out of his mouth.
“Guess who’s at my house for girl’s night?” he asked.
“Dude. What are we, twelve?” I threw a pencil at him.
He laughed, ducking. “Rebecca Wareman,” he continued, watching me.
My entire body heated, just at her name. I cleared my throat, “Really? So she and Monica are hitting it off?”
He laughed, tossing the pencil back down on my desk. “Yah, that’s really what you want to know. But, yes. They seem to be hitting it off. Nat and Lexi are actually inseparable.”
