Page 51 of Thirteen Years
“I’m sorry,” I croaked.
“What the fuck for?”
I heard the sirens getting louder, gravel crunching under tires in front of the house.
“Paul. Your best friend. He said he loved Monica and the girls. You have to tell them,” I begged.
The room was spinning now, the adrenaline, the drugs I was injected with, and the injuries all catching up with me.
“You can fucking tell Monica yourself. It's not your fault,” said Lucas, his voice breaking, as he caught me before I face-planted, “Stay awake, Becks. Jesus. Keep talking to me, baby.”
I smiled up at him, and touched the side of his face, “Lucas?”
“What, baby?”
“I love you too.”
Then everything was black.
Chapter 40
As I punched the button of the hospital’s elevator with one hand, I adjusted my bag on my shoulder and leaned against the wall exhaustedly. Straight to the ICU unit, where my best friend was lying, hooked up to machines, not knowing if and when she’d wake up. My eyes flooded with tears, again, for the hundredth time today alone.
I missed Paul.
When I had opened the door to Nick, I’d known. Before he had even said anything to me. I knew my Paul was gone, and maybe Becks too, because Lucas would’ve been the one to tell me if he could’ve left her side.
I remembered hitting my knees, Trevor’s arms coming around me, and being incredibly grateful he’d stopped by to check on us that night after he’d learned about the situation.
That had been four days ago.
I brought Natasha to visit her mother daily, absolutely refusing to have her go anywhere else.
People kept encouraging me to have someone else watch her. Where else would that little girl go? She had been like a third daughter to myself and…Paul.
The elevator doors opened and I walked out onto the quiet floor to the nurse’s station.
The nurse today smiled gently at me, “No Nat today?”
“She’ll be in later.” I said. “Can I go in?”
She nodded, “Lucas went to shower in the lounge and we talked him into some food. You’ll have a little bit with her alone.”
“Any change?” I dared ask.
“Not really. The internal bleeding has stopped. She hasn’t coded again after that first time. The doctor said the broken bones and burns are healing really nicely. He thinks she’s not coming out of it to protect her mind. Sometimes our body is ready before our brain is to face things.” she spoke in a reassuring tone. I nodded vaguely and turned to walk into the room alone.
She looked too still compared to her usual demeanor. I hated the machines. Although it beat the alternative to seeing Paul four days ago. On a cold metal slab in the morgue. No machines. No sign of life whatsoever.
I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed gently, reaching over and touching her hand.
“Becks” I said softly. “You need to wake up. Nothing is your fault. I know you’ve been through hell, and you’re so tired, but it's over. They’re both gone. You’re free. I need you,” I said, starting to cry again.
“Please. Nat misses you and she’s so worried. She’s fine. She’s been so brave. She’s been mother henning us. Me and the girls. Taking care of us. She’s so much like you. Lucas is like a shell, Becks. He needs you too. You have to wake up. Nothing is your fault. Paul isn’t your fault. HE wouldn’t want this.” I covered my face with my free hand, sobbing softly.
“Mon” said Lucas’ low voice. He reached down pulling me up and hugging me close. “She’ll wake up. I’m not accepting any thought that she won’t,” he said, rubbing my back gently.
I nodded, trying to pull myself together again. My eyes hurt. They were actually faintly bruised from the amount of crying and emotional strain I was under. Who knew that could happen?
