Page 36 of Thirteen Years
I made my way back around the corner of the building to my truck and picked up my pace to a jog when I didn’t see Becks in the front seat. I slowed down again, breathing a sigh of relief when I realized she was in the backseat with Natasha. Of course mama bear wouldn’t have been too far from her cub in this situation.
Becks saw me coming and hopped out of the truck to speak to me without worrying Nat any further.
“What? What did you find?” she asked, huge eyes staring up at me.
I hated the look on her face and in her eyes. I wanted to eradicate everything that had ever been done to her. The thirteen years worth of trauma and running. I held up the envelope to show her.
“Looks like someone left something for you,” I said gently, “we should probably call Monica and see if they can watch Nat for a while. I gotta call some guys to do some recon here and reinforce things, check things inside, if that’s okay with you. We gotta get this to the station too.”
She just stared at the envelope in my hand, and it's like I could see walls being rebuilt right in front of me. The natural instinct to take her baby and run far away, was right there. I couldn’t imagine the fight or flight response she was struggling with. I reached out, touching her arm gently, bringing her back to me.
“Becks,” I begged softly, drawing her eyes back to mine, “We’re going to figure this out. I’m here. You’re not alone in this anymore.”
She nodded, but my heart broke a little. I could see that she didn’t really think it was all going to be okay. She’d been let down one too many times in her life.
She pulled her cell phone out and called Monica, walking away until I could barely hear the conversation. I glanced towards the truck and met blue eyes, wide with worry and fear. I sighed and opened the door again.
“Hey, peanut,” I said, the term coming easily to me. For some reason it had just stuck when I called Nat that and she seemed to understand it was a term of endearment.
“Is everything okay? Is Mom ok?” Natasha’s voice broke me more than Beck's eyes had.
“Everything is fine, sweetheart. Nothing for you to worry about. I’ve got you and your mom, okay?”
She nodded, as I patted her on the arm gently.
“Lucas?” she asked.
“What's up?”
“Promise you won’t let Mom run again. I don’t want to leave,” she whispered, a tear falling down her cheek.
“You guys aren’t going anywhere, if I can help it, peanut,” I replied, drawing her into a hug. I didn’t know if she needed it more or I did.
Chapter 25
Iwas filled with worry as I followed Lucas into the station, Paul just now pulling into the parking lot beside us. I owed Monica big time. She claimed I didn’t, but she had my daughter at her house more than I did these days. She said she understood and knew I would do the same if the roles were reversed, which I would, but I was starting to feel like a horrible friend and mother. I wasn’t used to relying on anyone else or asking for help and it was starting to weigh heavily on me.
I watched Lucas’ back as he crossed to another police officer, realizing it was Nick, and communicated with him. I felt like I was floating. I knew this was some sort of extreme panic attack. I didn’t feel like I was in control of my entire body, almost like it was an out of body experience.
“What the hell do you mean, Nick?” I jerked, hearing Lucas’ voice rising in anger.
“Man, you know I can’t let you handle this,” Nick replied, raising his hands placatingly, “You’re too close to everything. There’s no fault in that. You have to let someone else handle this. I’m not doing this to be difficult, and you’d do the same if it were any of us.”
Lucas suddenly lunged, pushing Nick up against the wall. He was seething. I stepped forward quickly and grabbed his arm.
“HEY! Back off, Marshall,” yelled Paul coming up to his other side and yanking him back. “You damn well know this is protocol. Cool it,” he barked.
I’d never seen this side of the usual jovial character, who was Lucas’ best friend. He meant business and his eyes bore into Lucas’ until the latter shook his head and glanced back at Nick.
“I’m sorry, I just…”
Nick interrupted, “It's fine. I get it. I’d be the same way.”
I watched as he took the envelope from Lucas and disappeared through another door.
“Where’s he going? I can’t see what’s on it?” I asked, moving as if to follow him.
“Becks,” Lucas said, moving an arm in front of me to halt my movement, “They gotta check it out first. There’s steps to follow in case it has to be admitted as evidence.”
