Page 55 of Awakening the Dark Throne
He took off his jacket before sitting in a chair in front of a round table. He gestured to the seat in front of him. “Come, sit with me,” he said softly.
Someone knocked on the door, then in came the servant with a tray of food and wine. I got to my feet and slid my shaking body into the chair. The king filled my plate with fresh fruits and salted meat. He even poured wine for me.
He sat back, watching me from across the table. “Eat,” he demanded.
I took the fork and slowly brought the food to my mouth. He watched intently as I chewed the food. I finished what was on my plate without a word, washing it down with the wine he had poured for me. I sat straight, dreading what came next.
“Gaelin has become quite fond of you. What is your secret?” he asked, studying me slowly.
“I fulfill my duties, Your Grace. Nothing more,” I said nervously.
“Did you have much experience in bed before you came to my court? Is that why he is fond of you? For your natural talents?” he asked.
I swallowed hard, uncomfortable with the conversation topic. “Lord Atros was my first and is my only, Your Grace.”
The king chuckled, leaning in closer to me. “Is that so? Very interesting,” he said, standing from his chair. He walked behind me. I felt his cold finger move my hair from my bare shoulder. I shivered at the contact. He traced his fingers along the neckline of my dress until he got to my breasts. He stopped, gently sliding his finger under the fabric just a bit. I cringed, feeling sick.
He took my arm in his hand, slowly pulling me from the chair. He began to unfasten my dress from the back as streams of tears fell silently down my face. My dress fell to the floor. He remained behind me, his cold fingers tracing my scars on my lower back before he circled around to face me. He then traced his house sigil on my chest.
His hand made its way up to my face, taking my chin, lifting my eyes to his. His eyes were cold and unfeeling. They were more frightening than Erendrial’s had been. He held my gaze as his cold hands cupped my breasts. He watched as the discomfort and fear flickered across my expressions. He smiled, apparently satisfied with my reaction.
Then, my world was turned upside down. It was only flesh, I told myself. I didn’t focus on the pain or the feeling. I focused on the things that made me happy. I focused on Lilian. On Levos. On the beauty of the world outside of this cell. I focused on the kelpie and how radiant the creatures were.
I focused on getting out of here. How I was going to escape. Maybe I would lure a ragamor here and then take off into the sky, leaving this world behind. Or maybe I would just offer myself up to the fairies and let them end my pathetic existence. I thought of how I wanted to drive a ulyrium dagger through the king’s neck. Then his daughter would be next. The thought of stabbing him repeatedly made my lips curl into a cruel, unnatural smile.
Finally, the motion stopped as he pulled away, moving to the bathroom to clean himself. I pushed off the bed, grabbing my dress from the floor and sliding it on my disgusting body. I sat on the edge of the bed waiting for him to return. He strolled out of the bathroom with a smile on his face as he looked at me tauntingly.
“Not the liveliest I’ve had, but not bad. You may go back to Gaelin now, mistress,” he said, moving throughout the room.
I took my leave down the hall. I felt so numb and so disgusting. I couldn’t make a clear thought form in my head. Everything was hazy and clustered. I looked up, realizing I was nowhere Gaelin’s room, but I was near Levos’s.
The halls were quiet as I made my way to his door. Please let him be alone, I thought. I knocked on the door twice, still shaking from the encounter with the king. He came to the door in a pair of night pants and a loose shirt. I peeked around his form to make sure he was alone. The coast was clear. He looked down at me with a saddened expression.
“I didn’t know where else to go,” I said as the tears fell.
He pulled me into the room as I collapsed on the floor. He caught me in his arms on the way down and just held me as I cried out in pain and terror. He rocked me gently, brushing back my hair and making small shushing noises in my ear.
I took a bath, scrubbing my skin until it was red and raw. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. The sight disgusted me. My body didn’t feel like my own. I thought of all the human women out there that had to deal with this daily. My heart broke for them, not knowing how they got up each day and continued on. They were stronger than I was. I dressed in one of Madison’s dresses she kept in Levos’s room.
When I came out of the room, he was waiting for me in a chair. He stood up, not knowing what to say. I looked around his room, taking note of the piles of books and maps that littered his living space. His bed wasn’t as big as Gaelin’s, but it was still nicely adorned.
“Would…would it be okay if I stay here tonight? I can’t go back to Gaelin, not yet,” I confessed.
He stepped towards me, taking my arms in his hands. “Of course, anything you need.” His presence was comforting. I didn’t fear his touch. I trusted him. “Take the bed, I’ll sleep on the floor tonight.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely,” he said, leading me to his bed. He tucked me in before taking a blanket and pillow to the floor. The lights went out in the room, leaving me in complete darkness. I closed my eyes, unable to stop sobbing. It’s just flesh. Get yourself together, Gen. It’s over, you survived, I told myself, but it did little to calm my body’s reaction.
I exhaled slowly, trying to calm myself. Behind my eyes, images of that all-too-familiar black imprint flickered across my mind. I stopped, trying to push the memory away. Once I knew who that mark belonged to, I had refused to let myself go there, but tonight I might. Just one more time. I relaxed, watching the replays of my visions from the past. I followed the lines of the marking. I memorized the patterns, the thickness of the design. Then, my mind flickered to his smile. The way his cheeks fell into dimples on either side of his mouth. I listened as the laugh that I had yet to hear flooded through my body, easing me into an unsettling sleep.
I woke before Levos did. I quietly left his room, unsure of what I was going to say to Gaelin. The court was barely awake at this hour which I was thankful for. I didn’t know if I could bear the looks and whispers of the alfar females.
I got to Gaelin’s door. The guards were no longer stationed at the entrance. I pushed open the door, closing it quietly behind me. The bed was empty, unslept in. I looked around the room and found Gaelin on the balcony, leaning against one of the pillars. He turned his head and saw me. He walked towards me. I kept my arms around myself, unable to make eye contact with him.
He slowly reached for me, pulling my body into him. My head met his chest as the tears began to spill from me again. My whole body shook as he tightened his grip. He placed his head on mine.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” he whispered as I cried in his chest.
