Page 58 of Endless Terrors
And yet, since Laurie and Collith had left, the sense of calm I’d been feeling about my decision was nowhere to be found. I’d been hoping to rediscover it here, at my brother’s side, staring at his pale, vacant face. So far, the agitation roiling inside of me hadn’t eased.
“Are you ready?” Savannah Simonson asked from the doorway. She’d arrived an hour ago to start making preparations for the spell.
No, my heart whispered. I had so much to live for now. So many people I didn’t want to leave behind. Once, I wouldn’t have felt a single twinge of regret at the thought of death. Now everything inside me longed to stay.
I turned my head so Savannah could hear me say, “Is everyone here?”
She shook her head. “We’re still waiting on Finn. He’s the last one, though—everyone else came. They’re in your room.”
“Wow,” I said faintly. It was all becoming real. “They all came? Even Nym?”
Savannah gave me a small, hesitant smile. “Even Nym.”
My gaze lingered on Damon for a few more seconds, and then I stood. “I better check on them.”
When I turned, I caught Savannah looking at Damon, too. Her expression was inscrutable, and a whisper of unease went through me. Did any part of her blame Damon for her dark transformation? Or resent him for claiming full guardianship of Matthew?
That little detail might be different after tonight, I realized as I followed her out of the room. If Damon didn’t wake up, and something happened to me, Savannah was fully within her rights to take her son back. He was at Danny’s right now, since I didn’t want Matthew on the property when such a dangerous spell was being performed. What if it was Savannah, and not Damon, that picked him up in the morning? What if this didn’t work, or it was all a trick? What would happen to my nephew?
I was a Nightmare. I knew fear better than any other creature, and I recognized the signs—I was letting mine take control. Forcing myself to take slower, deeper breaths, I paused in the living room. My hand landed on the back of the couch as I focused on the air going in and out of my lungs. I heard my own voice, an echo from the past that never fully faded. I’ll take care of you.
Okay. I could do this.
I had just started toward my room when the door to the stairwell opened. Laurie entered first, looking unusually disheveled, followed closely by a scowling Collith. Each of them bore fresh injuries. Laurie was holding one of his wrists, which looked broken, and dark blood trailed down from Collith’s nose.
“What is this?” I demanded, going up to them, examining both for any wounds that weren’t healing. Thankfully, all the ones I found were either scabbing over or fading.
Laurie flashed me a cheerful grin when I moved his head, checking the deep cut beneath his right eye. “I caught this fool at a crossroads. We exchanged words.”
As soon as I heard the word crossroads, I went still. My fingers lingered on Laurie’s cheek as I turned to look at Collith. “You were going to offer yourself to Lucifer,” I said flatly.
He kept his focus on the wall across from us. His jawline was rigid. “And I still plan to. It’s the obvious solution. If he wants a Nightmare so badly, he can have me. Not you.”
“Even if he wanted you, which he clearly doesn’t, the bastard isn’t getting any more Nightmares,” Laurie snapped, his silver eyes flaring. “You’re not thinking clearly, you noble idiot. What do you think Lucifer will do to our world once he has a body? He’s never struck me as the peaceful sort.”
“Keep your voices down,” I cut in. “Collith, for multiple reasons, you need to leave. The most important one being I don’t want Gil to smell your blood.”
“I don’t know what you’re planning,” he said, ignoring me, “but I do know that you haven’t thought through the consequences. You have no idea what it really costs, making a deal with the Dark Prince.”
I should’ve been furious—here Collith was, accusing me of not considering the consequences, when offering himself to Lucifer would’ve had monumental repercussions—but I could feel his fear. When I reached for it, I glimpsed an image I hadn’t seen before. Collith’s body, broken and crumpled on a floor of stone.
Sylvyre stood over him, smiling.
“What does it cost, then?” I asked quietly. Laurie was silent, and I suspected it was because he wanted to know the answer, too.
“Your fucking soul,” Collith said, and there was a bleak shadow in his voice now. His urgency had given way to remembrance. Before I could pull him away from the past, Collith spoke again, and I knew it was too late.
“You think you don’t need it,” he said. His eyes were haunted. “You tell yourself it’s worth the sacrifice. But there’s no pain that matches it, existing without that part of yourself. And it is existing, Fortuna, because there’s no living once he claims your soul. Not even you can come back from that.”
Collith met my gaze, and in spite of all the lies he’d fed me since we met, I knew he was telling the truth. Doing this spell would probably be something I’d come to regret.
But it changed nothing.
Collith was still standing there, desperate to save me from the same fate he’d endured. Looking at him, sensing the swiftly unraveling thread of his control, I decided to tell a lie of my own.
“Hey.” My voice was even softer now. “Everything is going to be all right. You’re blowing this out of proportion.”
“I saw the drawer, Fortuna,” Collith said.
