Page 36 of Endless Terrors
Out loud I said, my voice devoid of emotion, “How were you and Vulen connected?”
Seth squinted out at the street, and answered without looking at me. “He was my betrothed, in another lifetime. We grew up together, and our bloodlines have a long history of mutually beneficial unions. Vulen knew my secret, of course. The truth about how I felt in my body, and the changes I wanted to make. It would’ve been impossible to keep it from him, what with his mind-reading, but Vulen was happy to marry me and let me live how I wanted. In the end, I just couldn’t do it. How did … how did he die?”
“I killed him.”
I waited for Seth to ask why, or press for more details. After a few seconds, I realized he wasn’t going to. There were a lot of potential reasons he had no interest in knowing, but if I had to choose one, I’d guess he wanted my acceptance so badly that the details of how I’d murdered his ex-fiancé were irrelevant. They wouldn’t change anything for him.
The thought reminded me why we were sitting there. So I forced myself to say it, because I couldn’t stay on this bench much longer and because he needed to hear it. “There is no Court here, Seth. You need to move on,” I told him gently.
His lips twisted, and a stubborn light shone in his eyes. “Are you sure about that?” Seth said.
“It’s nothing personal. I just have nothing to offer you. I’m barely keeping my head above water. Speaking of, I should go.”
“Okay. Oh, wait. I wrote this down earlier.” Seth reached into his pocket. He pulled out a piece of paper, neatly folded, and offered it to me. “It’s my number. Just in case. I may be a goblin, but I can be useful. I’m good with computers, really good, which I know is strange for our kind. Guess I’ve always been strange. I can be useful,” Seth repeated. “That’s all I’m trying to say.”
“I don’t doubt it.” His earnestness made my heart twinge. I raised my eyebrows. “And I happen to like the strange ones. Normality is overrated, if it even exists.”
“But you still don’t want me.” Seth didn’t say it like a question.
I sighed and made a helpless gesture. “It’s not that I don’t want you. Even if I were part of a Court—which I’m not—now is really not the time to be associated with me.”
“Why?” he insisted.
Definitely a young goblin, I thought with a touch of exasperation. For a moment, I considered telling him about Lucifer. But even if I had time to fill Seth in on everything, he might do something stupid to prove himself worthy of my “Court.”
“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you,” I said, sounding as tired as I felt. I tensed to get up.
“Try me.”
“I would, but I need to get back. Clock is ticking.”
I was about to stand again when my gaze went up to Seth’s horns. I paused and allowed myself to really look at them. I felt the goblin’s eyes on me, his fear filling the silence. It tasted like dandelions.
The horns were almost … delicate. The base of each one, nestled in his curls, was textured and strong. But as they rose and curved, the points became thin and deadly. Smooth, like polished bone. I’d never seen a goblin with horns, and I probably never would again. Not all of them developed what my mother used to call “touches,” but for those that did, it manifested in different ways. The touch could be an extra finger, or pointed teeth, or black eyes.
The taste of dandelions was stronger now. I lowered my gaze back to Seth’s, and I smiled. “I think your horns are beautiful,” I said.
Seth stared at me. I lingered, hoping he’d see how much I meant it. After a few seconds, I gave him a small wave and finally left the bench, digging my keys back out. The car door opened with a whine. I put my bag in the passenger seat and started to get in.
“The mark on your back,” Seth called. “I saw it once, and I forgot to ask about it when we finally met.”
I paused and looked over my shoulder. “Ask what?”
He stood next to the bench, hands shoved in his pockets. “I just wondered why you’d choose the Leviathan Cross.”
“I didn’t. What do you know about it?” I asked, frowning now. Seth took a few steps closer and stopped on the curb.
“Not much,” he admitted. “Just that it’s the alchemical symbol for brimstone. But I can do more research on it. Like I said, I’m good with computers. I can access databases normal people can’t.”
I opened my mouth to ask what kind of databases. Then I decided that I didn’t want to know too many details. Desperate times, and all that. “I’d love to know more, yes,” I said. “Thank you. I’ll send a text, so you have my number, too. If you find out anything interesting, will you let me know right away?”
As Seth nodded eagerly, I hid my worry that I’d gotten his hopes up. I’d been telling the truth earlier, and my answer wasn’t going to change. There was no Court for him to be part of. I wasn’t a queen. That part of my story was over and I had no desire to turn back the page.
I got in the car and drove home.
I must’ve gotten lost in thought, because when I killed the engine and stepped out, I was startled to see it had started to snow at some point. There were no footprints leading up to the door, which meant either everyone was here, or no one was. Anxious to start reading again, I shouldered my bag and hurried inside. The barn door slammed shut on the bitter wind, closing me in with dimness and silence. Light poured from the stairwell like a beckoning hand, and I ran up the steps.
Emma was baking.
