Page 125 of Endless Terrors
“That’s exactly what I need you to do, actually. To listen.” I faltered. It felt strange, almost unnatural, to ask for help. To ask someone else to be there for me. I swallowed and added, “Vamp hearing is as good as a faerie’s, right? So I’m hoping you’ll stand here and tune in when I summon Lyari. If she does show, I might eventually need some backup.”
By the time I was done, Gil’s features had sharpened, and all traces of humor had vanished. I waited for his fangs to elongate, a sure sign that he was losing control. But it didn’t happen. Seconds ticked past, thick with tension. Then, all at once, the bomb inside Gil abruptly defused. He threw his cigarette butt down and stomped out whatever sparks were left. Without looking at me he said, “I’ll listen, then.”
I nodded at Gil in silent gratitude, hoping he saw it from the corner of his eye, and finally turned toward the door. I knew he probably had a dozen questions now. I’d have to explain later.
Later, after I confronted Lyari Paynore about why she’d betrayed me and everyone I loved.
As I crossed the garage and headed for the stairwell, I tried to shift all my focus onto what I wanted to say. If this went south, it would undoubtedly be because I said something stupid. My lips were moving silently when I got to the top of the stairs and found the door locked. I put the key in and listened for any sounds. There was only silence. Seth must’ve gone back to his place, and I wasn’t entirely certain whether or not Nym still lived here. I was probably the only one home.
The door swung open at the slightest push. It opened on well-oiled hinges—Finn was always doing tasks around the property, on the rare occasions he actually had the hands to do them—and a quiet, empty space greeted me. I hung up my coat and took off my shoes, glancing around. The loft felt strange without Emma. She hadn’t been gone long, I knew that, but it felt like she was the heart of this place. Her terrible perfume was usually lingering on the air. There were always baked goods on the countertops, food bubbling on the stove, and fresh coffee in the pot. All of that was gone now, the heartbeat silenced.
Focus, Fortuna. I nodded and let out a breath. A beat too late, I realized Gil had probably heard it. Now he knew how nervous I was. Silently kicking myself, I walked around and turned on more lights. When that was done, I started moving toward the kitchen, thinking of a dozen other things I needed to do now that I was home. But I’d only taken a few steps when I recognized that I was stalling. Avoiding.
I stopped in the center of the room and said it.
“Lyari.”
For once, my Right Hand appeared right away. “Are you all right?” she asked. “Is Emma—”
“How did you know where to find me, when I went to see Emma in the hospital? No one knew I was back yet,” I cut in. Lyari went quiet, and the longer the silence stretched, the heavier I felt. I’d been hoping I was wrong. Part of me still wanted to bury my head in the sand, but I forced myself to continue. “Where do you go every time you disappear, Lyari? Why have you been missing some of my summons?”
“He told me where to find you,” she said. Taken aback by the speed of her answer, since I’d been prepared for another silence, I said nothing. But it turned out, Lyari didn’t need me to push her anymore. Disgust seeped into her voice as she went on. “He knew which hospital Emma had been brought to, even the room number she was in. He ordered me to use your trust. Get you to talk, especially about your feelings for him.”
“I had to say the words, didn’t I? I had to admit it to myself, in order to make him corporeal.” I waited, but Lyari had apparently fallen silent again. And now, finally, I voiced the question I’d been wanting to ask all along. “Why?”
She still didn’t answer. There was a slight hunch to her shoulders, though, and she kept her face turned away. I allowed the quiet to hover between us as I studied her. Absorbing every detail. Acknowledging the feeling in my gut.
“What does he have on you?” I asked. Lyari’s head jerked around, and her startled eyes met mine. She remained silent. Understanding again, I gave her a sad, small smile. “I know you, Lyari. You wouldn’t betray me, not by choice.”
“I thought you’d …” Her mouth worked, and somehow I knew what she was trying to say. Lyari thought I’d believe the worst of her. Hate her. I wondered if it was because she’d known of the prejudice I used to hold against her kind. Or maybe it was a result of how she’d been treated by her own people for so many years.
It occurred to me that we were still standing in the middle of the room, facing each other as if we were on a battlefield. Hoping to ease the tension, I walked over to one of the barstools and sank onto it. I hadn’t missed that Lyari never answered my question about the missed summons and her disappearances.
With my hands folded between my knees, I lifted my head and met her gaze. I forced myself to voice the next question, even though I didn’t want to ask and I knew she didn’t want to answer. “He hurts you, doesn’t he?”
Lyari swallowed. “His witches do. It’s why I didn’t answer your summons the night you killed Logan Boon.”
The shame in her eyes told me what she still couldn’t say. I knew, then, that Lucifer had been using her to keep tabs on me. On us. It was how he’d figured out where Damon was.
Using Collith had just been a distraction. A red herring.
As we stood there, both of us silent now, something else occurred to me. I raised my head. “Goody Baldwin’s journal. I’ve always wondered how you wound up with it. Did Lucifer …?”
She nodded, her mouth tight. “He planned all of it. In order for you to arrive in Hell, you had to want to go there. He predicted every move you made after that. Agreeing to his deal. Using the spell you’d found in the journal. Making you think you were stuck in Hell forever. He knew you wouldn’t ever give in to him if you believed there was a way out. That you were going back.”
Hearing this, my mind flashed back to the last conversation I’d had with Lucifer in Hell. He had literally confirmed what Lyari was telling me now.
I thought rain didn’t exist here, I remembered saying. My voice had been full of such wonder. Poor little fool.
That night, Lucifer had looked right at me and said, We lied.
I had all the missing pieces now. Suddenly it was easy, finishing the puzzle I’d been trying to solve for so long. Lucifer had always been twelve steps ahead of me. Even sending me home had been part of his plan, but he’d only enacted it after he failed to manipulate an admission of love himself. Lyari had been a failsafe, a backup in case I proved to be less malleable than he hoped.
It was so intricate. So careful. If it weren’t so terrifying and manipulative, I would admire the devil for how well he’d played the game. Behind every random event or conversation, there was Lucifer, manipulating strings from the shadows.
But he’d hurt someone I cared about. Any chance at admiration, or redemption, was long gone. I refocused on the person he’d harmed this time, determined to lessen some of the damage left in his wake.
“Lucifer is good at desire. He figures out what we want most, and he uses that to get what he wants. So all I need to do is answer the question. What does Lyari want most?” I felt my expression soften with pity. “A cure.”
