Page 117 of Endless Terrors
Heilel hesitated. His brows drew together in a rare expression of uncertainty. I was so startled by the sight of it that I remained silent. At last he said, his words slow and halting, “I want … to make you happy. To give you something that will make you smile. What would do that?”
I didn’t need to think about it. I sat upright and hugged my knees to my chest.
“I would love to see my family.” I swallowed, feeling a prick of guilt that I’d barely thought about them during my time with Heilel. “Even if it’s just for a few seconds. To look at them and know they’re doing okay.”
Heilel pulled away and crossed the room. He reached into the top drawer of the dresser and pulled something out. He returned to me gracefully, his scent surrounding the bed. Every atom in my body was zeroed in on the object in his hands.
“This is how I watch your world,” Heilel said.
He held a mirror out to me. I grasped the handle carefully, knowing this was the key to seeing my family again. I held it up and stared at my own face. The mirror was eerily similar to the one Collith had given me, back when we’d first met.
The spell upon it must’ve been the same, because I thought of the people I loved—the ones I was pulling strength from every single day I was here—and my reflection blurred.
I expected to see Damon.
Instead, Emma filled the glass.
A flare of joy went through me, but within seconds, it sputtered and went out as I registered more details. My grip tightened on the mirror. Something is wrong, instinct hissed. Emma stood in the kitchen, as usual, but there was a strangeness about her posture. Her eyebrows were knitted together, her spine slightly bent.
As I watched, Emma’s hand rose. She pressed it against her stomach. Fear burrowed in mine, and I felt Heilel’s hand on the small of my back. His voice was full of concern. I didn’t answer, didn’t even hear because all my focus was on Emma. I knew she couldn’t hear me, but my mouth parted instinctively, about to call her name anyway.
Then she started vomiting blood.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Far below where I stood, the First City writhed with firelight and fear.
The gargoyles chittered above me. They must’ve sensed my mood, because none of them had dared to come near or try to communicate. I stood at the ledge with my arms crossed over my chest, my shoulders hunched. Wind howled in my ears, and the cold gusts brought a distant sound with them. There were games happening in the arena, which Roger had told me about—I could hear the dull roar of the crowd, even from here. My mood darkened even more at the thought of so many helpless souls getting ripped out of existence.
It had been an entire day since I’d seen Emma in the mirror. An entire day since I had confessed the truth to Heilel about having no way to get home, and begging him to help me. An entire day since he had denied me. If I knew a way out of my world, don’t you think I would’ve done it by now? he’d asked.
What if it was too late, anyway? What if Emma hadn’t survived? My stomach wrenched at the thought. I stared out at the dark sea of buildings and spires, wondering if there was anyone out there who possessed the magic I needed. I’d given up on my search so quickly. If I’d fought harder, Emma might be okay right now. But I’d allowed myself to get distracted. To get complacent.
One of the gargoyles dropped to the ground, and the sound of its claws hitting the stones drew me out of my guilt. It was Givi, I noted as I turned. He crawled closer, and there was something odd about his gait. After a moment, I realized he was holding a small object. The creature stretched out his arm to me, and I carefully removed the object from his grasp.
It was a stone. It looked a lot like the ones that had been piled around me when I’d first got to Hell and had woken up in that big structure. The outside was dull and gray, almost mottled, like gargoyle skin. Its shape was lumpy and jagged.
I met Givi’s wide, concerned eyes and smiled faintly. “Thank you. It’s beautiful.”
The small gargoyle made a sound that was halfway between a croon and a purr, then he flapped his enormous wings and lifted off the roof, flying up to rejoin the others. I looked out at the city again and recrossed my arms, still holding the rock. The rough surface scraped my skin, but I didn’t care; its solid weight was strangely soothing. My fingers curled around it even tighter. The calls of the bloodthirsty spectators returned, fainter now, as if Givi’s kindness had worked some sort of spell. I stood there for a few more minutes and tried not to think about all the people I’d let down with my weakness.
His voice came from behind, as it so often did. “I hope you don’t plan to ignore me forever. It’s going to be a very boring eternity for both of us.”
The horizon flashed red, and just like that, I saw Emma again. I faced Heilel, and for once, the sight of him didn’t send my thoughts scattering. I only had one thought now, and her face haunted me. Desperation surged through my veins like a thousand tiny needles. It showed in my voice as I said, “There has to be something you can do. You must know someone, just one person, in all of the seven cities, who can work the kind of magic I need. We can create rain, or summon it, I don’t know. Or forget the rain, we could find a spell that—”
“I’m not a god, Fortuna. I’m not omniscient, nor do I have limitless magic at my disposal. There are still rules, no matter how much I may resent them.”
I was shaking my head before he finished speaking. I didn’t accept that. Any of it. Heilel just didn’t want to let me go. There had to be a way, and he was refusing to tell me.
“Whatever this is,” I made an abrupt gesture between us, “had to end at some point. It’s not even real, Heilel. It’s just magic.”
He didn’t reply. His blue eyes fixed on those distant flashes, and I wondered what he saw in the darkness. What haunted him whenever he stood on this rooftop. I didn’t ask. It would feel like giving up, somehow, and I’d already given up on Emma too many times.
Still not saying a word, Heilel turned to me. His hands curved around my waist and he pressed our foreheads together. I started to pull away, but then his scent drifted past. Sandalwood. I breathed it in, wondering when that smell had become safety and comfort. Within seconds, the tension drained from my entire body. Heilel was breathing me in, too. I put my hand on his chest, searching for his heart. And there it was, fast but steady. A heart that had beat for an eternity and would keep on beating for several more. Once, I would’ve been infuriated by the thought.
“‘In the very depths of Hell, do not demons love one another?’” Heilel whispered, fingering a strand of my hair.
Closing my eyes, I swallowed a sigh and looped my other arm around his neck. Our bodies touched. Our chests, our thighs … everything else. “What is that from?”
