Page 92 of My Heart Still Beats
Relaxing.
Ben is still wrapped in his towel and sitting on an outdoor sofa. He pats the seat next to him.
I sit.
Oddly, my teeth aren’t chattering. Probably because it’s so warm here in Jamaica.
“What did you think?” Ben asks.
I shake my head at him.
I’m not ready to talk yet.
I’m not ready to talk because I don’t know how to describe what I just went through.
My mind… It was blank. All I thought about was breathing. Easing the chill.
I wait a few more moments until the warmth has eased the biting freeze.
“I think…I liked it.”
A smile spreads across his gorgeous face. “Didn’t I tell you?”
“It was… My mind was a complete blank, Ben.” A tear rolls down my cheek as a swarm of emotion surges through me. “And my God… I don’t think my mind has been a complete blank for a long time.”
He smiles and wipes the tear away with his finger. “That’s why I suggested it. It’s forced meditation, Tessa. Your friends and your therapist can tell you all day not to think about something, and it’s been my experience that only makes you think about itmore.”
I can’t help a slight chuckle as I sniffle. “That isexactlyhow it is.”
“But when you’re in a cold plunge, all you’re thinking about is warmth. In order to get through it, you have to regulate your breathing, close your eyes, and concentrate. When you’re trying to get warm, forcing yourself to regulate your breathing, nothing else can get into your head.”
I look at him, then—really look at him. Beyond his handsome face and jovial personality. And inside of him I see something else.
He does this for a reason, too.
Perhaps everyone has demons of their own.
I smile at him. “When can I do it again?”
“Once a day is enough,” he says.
“You did it twice today.”
“I did, but only for a fraction of the time I normally do, and only to show you how to do it.”
He’s right. This isn’t something you can just subject your body to constantly. But now that I know it can keep my mind blank, I want it again. And again.
“Once you’re used to it, you can work up to five minutes. Maybe even ten. But only once a day.”
“But we leave tomorrow.”
“Tell you what.” He grabs my hand. “You and I will have a date for a cold plunge at this time tomorrow morning. Before we get on the plane. Then, when we get back to Boston, you can come to my place and do one every day if you’d like.”
“You have your own cold plunge?”
“I do. Braden lives in a penthouse, but I’m more of a suburb guy. Now, anyway. I have a house. I only recently moved there. I have my own swimming pool, my own cold plunge, and a full-time trainer who’s also a massage therapist.”
I roll my eyes. “Must be nice.”
