Page 76 of My Heart Still Beats
“If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.”
He moves closer to me. The scent of alcohol is thick on him, but he doesn’t act inebriated. “I’m surprised to see you out here alone.”
“I understand how you might feel that way, but I feel safe here, Ben. Something about the ocean.”
“Itisrelaxing,” he says, “but I don’t want you walking out here alone.”
“Why? This is a private resort.”
He looks at me for a moment, as if he wants to say something but then thinks better of it. “No reason. Just no woman should be walking alone after dark. You know as well as I do that women can be vulnerable.”
I tense up.
Ben rakes his fingers through his hair. “Fuck… I didn’t mean…”
“No, you meant exactly what you said.” I cross my arms. “And you’re right. I suppose I of all people should know that.”
“Please… Don’t let that curb your relaxation.” He closes the distance between us, brushes a strand of hair out of my face. “You had a look in your eyes a moment ago, Tessa. It’s close to the look you had at the top of the Falls today, but it was even more tranquil. A look I’ve never seen on you before.”
“You haven’t known me for that long.”
“No.” He frowns. “It is odd that we didn’t meet until we started planning this trip. With Skye and Braden being together and all.”
“I suppose that’s partially my fault,” I say. “I wasn’t exactly the best friend to Skye when her relationship with Braden was blossoming.”
“You weren’t?”
“I felt kind of left out, to be honest. Unfortunately…that led me to things that…”
I say no more.
He knows anyway.
“I know my brother would feel absolutely awful if he thought he had anything to do with what happened to you. That he took Skye away from you.”
I shake my head. “He didn’t. It was all me. I was being silly and jealous and bratty. I see that now. I have no excuse for it. I could tell you that Skye and I have been close since freshman year of college, and that’s the truth. I could tell you that we talked on the daily, and I was her fashion consultant—the few times I could actually get her to go out. That’s all true, and it’s true that I missed those things once she and Braden got serious. But she was still my bestie. There was no reason for me to react the way that I did.”
He doesn’t say anything for a moment. I’m sure he’s weighing what to say so as to not offend me. Because I’m absolutely right. I was a brat, and we both know it. It was my behavior that led me to where I am today.
It wasn’t my fault. I understand that. I had no idea that Garrett was going to be such an asshole. An asshole who would drug a woman.
The truly sad thing is that he didn’t even need to drug me. I was infatuated with him—with his dark good looks, his love of dancing, his intelligence.
He didn’t need to drug me to have sex with him.
But as I looked back at it in therapy, I came to understand that he was also conniving. He broke up with me, and I was heartbroken. Then he came back to me, and I was elated. Then he drugged me, and God knows what he did to me after that.
He didn’t love me. He manipulated me, and who knows how many other women he violated in the same way?
He’ll be sorry he chose me because I’ll be the one to put him behind bars. He may be out on bail now, but there will be a trial, and he’s guilty as sin.
I hate that he’s out on bail right now, but I have a restraining order against him. He can’t come near me.
Finally, Ben opens his mouth to speak. “No woman deserves what happened to you. It doesn’t matter what you did or what you think you did. None of that matters, Tessa. This wasnotyour fault.”
“I know that.” Doesn’t change the fact that if I hadn’t been envious of Skye’s newfound love I probably wouldn’t have put myself in the position to be harmed.
