Page 51 of My Heart Still Beats

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Keeping my eyes closed, concentrating only on my breathing.

Breathe, breathe, breathe…

Eleven minutes seems like a fucking year, but I’m determined.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

“One minute down,” Spencer says.

He won’t mention the time again. Our minds need to go blank, not worry about hearing the time. Once the first minute is over, the body starts to numb.

You feel the cold, but it’s not quite as harsh.

Breathe, breathe, breathe…

In, out, in, out…

I move my fingers. Nope, that makes it worse.

Stay still. Breathe, breathe, breathe…

The hands and feet never get warm.

Not that any of the body gets warm, but the hands and the feet stay freezing, as if my fingers have turned into icicles.

The body, when exposed to these conditions, attempts to keep your internal organs warm and working. Extremities are the first to go.

In, out, in, out…

No images form in my mind. No thoughts form.

I focus solely on my breathing and dealing with coldness.

Breathe, breathe, breathe…

Blank.

Blank mind.

Nothingness.

Nothingness…

Nothingness…

…

“Eleven minutes.”

I dart out of the water at Spencer’s voice.

He hands me a warm towel, and I wrap it over my shoulders.

I’m surprised to see Braden already out of his tub.

“You didn’t make it for eleven minutes?”

“I told him to touch my shoulder at ten.” Braden towels off her hair. “I have to hand it to you, Ben. You fucking nailed it.”

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