Page 179 of My Heart Still Beats
David’s brother, Dirk, stabbed and killed an escaped convict who walked in on them.
Teeth.
Tarp.
Dumped in the bay.
No body recovered.
No charges.
My skin freezes.
Ben. My Ben.
How could he?
I was sure Garrett and David were spouting lies. Or at least embellishing.
But every gritty detail was true, except that Ben didn’t do the killing.
Ben is devastated. This is eating at him. Has been eating at him for so long.
Ben Black. Jovial Ben Black. All this time hiding a terrible secret that’s been gnawing his insides out. Those demons he talked about when we first met? The demons I doubted he could ever have? They were real. So real.
“So you see?” he finally says. “I have to let you go, Tessa. You deserve so much more than someone broken like me.”
I rise, pace around his living room a few times.
“Go,” he says. “I know you want to.”
Really? That’s what he thinks? I absolutely donotwant to leave, and I won’t.
I turn, face him, and I hope he can see the fire inside me. “I don’t want to go, Ben.”
“This story is going to be in every rag in the country by the end of tomorrow. All over the internet. I’m going to be swamped with reporters following me around. Lies will be told, Tessa. And the truth is bad enough.”
I sit down on his knee, cup his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“You have to. I won’t put you through this.”
“I’ll go willingly.”
“No.” He rises, setting me on my feet. “I won’t let you. This isn’t your problem. You’ve been through enough, with Garrett, that asshole David Conrad—”
“I didn’t even remember David Conrad until recently,” I say. “Even after Garrett, I didn’t remember.”
“Only when you met me.” He rubs his forehead. “Look what I’ve done to you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Maybe I had to remember him once I met you. Maybe I had to be whole, whether that’s good or bad, to be with you. To be with the love of my life.”
He grabs me then, crushes our mouths together in a raw and passionate kiss.
But he breaks it just as quickly. “You are everything to me, Tessa. You’re the reason why I was able to face this. To tell my story. And that’s the reason I have to let you go.”
I grab his face. I have to stop myself from shaking him. “No, you don’t.”
“I do. I can’t ask you to take this on. It’s not fair.”
