Page 72 of My Heart Still Beats
Maybe I need to give my therapist a call. It’s too late now, but I can call her in the morning. She’s really good about that. Taking time to talk to me when I’m not in a session. Most of the time she doesn’t even charge me for it, which I appreciate.
I take a drink of my sparkling water.
Skye takes another long sip of her drink. “I just want to tell you again, Tess. This has just been wonderful. I can’t thank you enough.”
“You’re welcome, Skye.”
Sometime, after the wedding’s over, I’ll level with Skye. I’ll tell her that Ben planned all of it. But I don’t want to ruin anything for her right now. And finding out her best friend was too into her own self-absorption to plan her bachelorette party would ruin her evening.
Some best friend I am.
I take another drink.
I’ve had about enough of this party, but I should stay until the end.
Skye excuses herself and goes back to dance with the men and the other ladies.
And I realize what I’ve been reduced to.
Tessa Logan used to be the life of the party.
Because as a child, raised by devout Catholic parents, she was never allowed to be the life of the party.
As soon as I got out on my own in college, I let my hair down and enjoyed life to the fullest.
Carpe diemwas my mantra.
But now?
I sit on the sidelines, looking in.
Knowing I don’t belong.
And wondering if maybe…I never did.
Chapter Twenty
Ben
The bachelor and bachelorette parties have ended, and Braden, Skye, and the others—along with the dancers—have retired for the evening. I’m sitting alone at the bar where the bachelorette party took place, nursing my third Wild Turkey of the night.
Or is it my fourth?
All I know is I’m feeling little pain, and that’s the way I want it right now.
But even in this state, whenever I’m alone, the past comes haunting.
Fucking Dirk Conrad.
I wipe the thought from my mind. He’s not going to ruin my weekend in Jamaica.
I don’t want Dirk Conrad on my mind.
I don’t want any of that shit on my mind.
Not this weekend, damn it.
Still…
