Page 50 of My Heart Still Beats
Braden and I like to challenge each other.
He and I are both up to ten minutes in the cold plunge, but today I’m going to make it to eleven.
Hell, I need it. I had a hard-on all last night thinking about Tessa Logan.
And damn, I don’t evenwantto think about her that way. Not before she’s ready.
I wish I could help her. I truly do. But I’m not a psychologist, not a counselor. She has to take the lead on this, let me know what she wants and when, step by step. She’s the one in control. And for me, that’s all-new territory.
Braden and I stand outside, the morning air sliding over our bodies.
“We’re at fifty-five,” the resort trainer says, holding the thermometer out of the water. “You sure you want to do ten minutes? That’s a long time.”
“That’s what we do,” Braden says.
“I’m doing eleven this time,” I say.
Braden shoots his eyebrows up. “Ten is pushing it, Ben. You sure?”
“Fuck yeah.” Chills are already running through my body at the thought. “I have to. I need it. Besides, it’ll make our hike up Dunn River Falls seem like nothing.”
“That’ll be nothing anyway,” Braden says. “We’re in the best shape of our lives. You sure about eleven?”
“Absolutely.”
“Great, then. I’ll do eleven as well.”
I roll my eyes. “Figured you would.”
Braden gives me a good-natured punch to my upper arm. “You know I can’t be bested by my little bro.”
The trainer, a muscled Jamaican man named Spencer, sets his timer. “All right, fifteen seconds to work yourselves up. Get in when you’re ready. I’ll tell you when the timer starts.”
I breathe and move my feet in a high-kneed march for a few seconds. I close my eyes, ready myself for the icy water that’s going to meet my body.
“You ready?” Spencer asks.
I close my eyes. “I am.”
“Good here, too.” From Braden.
I step into the cold tub and submerge myself within a second.
I want to keep my teeth from chattering, so I close my eyes and begin to breathe.
The first minute is the most difficult.
All I think about is the cold.
How my body is turning into a glacier.
Fifty-five degrees can’t freeze my body, but it sure as hell feels like it is.
I keep my face out of the water, but I submerge my shoulders and the tip of my chin.
But my whole body—including my face—feels the cold.
I breathe in, breathe out, breathe in again.
