Page 31 of My Heart Still Beats
I can’t believe I said something so cruel. I know about the fire that destroyed his home when he was only a kid. A really young kid. I know his mother was burned badly and scarred in the fire and died years later. I know about his father’s drinking.
Is that what he’s talking about? Because that’s common knowledge, and I should have remembered it.
That’s all bad enough, but is there something more?
The old Tessa would ask him. The old Tessa would want to help him.
This Tessa?
This Tessa can’t handle anything more in her head right now. No more torment. Even if it’s someone else’s. I just can’t take it.
And I hate how selfish that sounds in my own head because part of me wants to help him. Part of me is drawn to him in a way that’s new to me.
“So I suppose our dinner at the Union Oyster House is canceled now,” I finally say.
He wipes his lips with his napkin. “Why would it be canceled?”
“You’re obviously upset with me.”
“Why would I be upset with you?”
“Because I…” I shake my head. “Never mind, I guess.”
“Tessa,” he says, his tone serious, “I know you feel like you’ve been marked with what happened to you. I get that. You probably hate the fact that I know about it. But I’m glad I do because it helps me understand you. I’m not one to use kid gloves. You don’t become a billionaire doing things that way. I can’t just turn off my personality.” He pauses a moment and looks me right in my eyes. “What Icando is be as understanding as possible about your situation. I can keep a safe distance from you. I can help you feel safe and secure. Why do you think I asked to see you home last night?”
I twirl a lock of my hair. “I understand. I get it.”
“I want you to learn to trust me.” He places a hand on his chest, as if pledging allegiance. “You have nothing to fear from me, Tessa. But I understand why you feel that way. I’m a man, and a man did you harm.”
I simply nod.
“Now that I’ve seen you home, you’ve driven in my car with my driver, I’ve taken you up to your apartment, helped you with your dog… Now that you know that I’m not a threat, please trust me.” He reaches across the table. “Depend on me. I can help you get through this.”
I don’t take his outstretched hand. “What? You some kind of psychoanalyst now?”
He wants to roll his eyes. I can tell by the look on his face, but he resists. Good for him.
“No,” he says. “I didn’t mean I can help you get through what happened to you. What I meant was I can help you get through the bachelor and bachelorette parties and the wedding.”
Okay. Now I feel like the scum on my shoe. He’s trying to be nice, and I’m throwing it back in his face.
“I apologize,” I say, and I’m surprised at how much I truly mean it.
“No apologies necessary.”
“Damn it. Don’t say that. I was being a bitch. Let me own it.”
He chuckles a bit. “All right. You own it.”
“And honestly, I appreciate the help with the weekend.” My fingers twitch. I actually want to grab his hand that’s still reaching toward me. But I don’t. “Skye’s an only child, and she always told me I’d be her maid of honor. I was so psyched when she asked me back in college. I always wanted to help give her the wedding of her dreams. But now… It seems like such a heavy burden on my back.”
“I know it does. But we have to be thinking about Braden and Skye now.”
“You think I’m not?”
“That’s not what I said.” He sighs, takes a drink of his water. “Clearly I’m really bad at this.”
“Well, you’renota psychoanalyst.” I give him a smile, and to my surprise, it’s not forced.
