Page 110 of My Heart Still Beats
What the hell were you thinking?
The words hover at the back of my throat, but I can’t bring them forth. I can’t bring anything forth.
I can’t even scream, the way Carlos is shrieking like a little girl.
Damn, damn, damn…
Finally, I pull Dirk away.
“We need to get the fuck out of here,” I say.
“You said nobody would be here.” Dirk’s voice is robotic.
“I know what I said. But we have to get out of herenow.”
“Who is that guy?”
“I have no idea. He doesn’t work here that I know of. He may have been trying to rob the place, same as us. Fuck, Dirk, he didn’t have a weapon. What the—”
“My God… The money…” Jerry starts picking up bills.
“For Christ’s sake,” I whisper harshly, “leave it.”
“Are you fucking kidding?” Carlos wipes the puke from his mouth and bends down to help Jerry.
The two of them scramble to pull the money together and shove it in the duffel bag I brought.
I don’t help them, but I’m damned sure going to take my share.
Dirk is covered in blood. It doesn’t show on the black hoodie he’s wearing, but it’s all over his jeans.
“Take a look at yourself,” I say to him. “Did any of your blood get mingled in with this guy’s? Did you nick yourself with that knife?”
“Hard to say. There’s blood all over me.”
“There’s blood all over all of us, but did you nick yourself at all?”
“I don’t think so. I don’t feel anything.”
Of course he doesn’t feel anything. None of us do. We’re all fucking numb right now. Our survival instincts are in overdrive.
This went so,sowrong.
“We can’t leave it here,” I say.
“The hell we can’t.”
“No, we can’t. We have to…get rid of it.”
…
Present Day…
It.
I saidit.
I called a human beingit.
