Page 74 of The Absence of You
He describes his suspicion there was a darker side to his father, but tells me he had dismissed it as childish imagination, not truly believing he was a monster, until that day. Joseph is calm as he recounts his story, but I don’t miss the tremble of his hand when he reaches for another sip of water.
“You don’t have to go over it again. My mum and Dee have already told me what happened that night.”
“I would like you to hear it from me, Dahlia. Please?” I nod, and he continues. He tells me he lost control when he saw Roger’s hands touching my mum. He tells me he couldn’t stop hitting him. He doesn’t go into the full details of what my mum had gone through with Roger, for which I’m grateful, as I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready to hear those.
By the time our two-hour visit finishes, I know whatever the results of the DNA test show, I will be grateful to this man, for removing a monster from this planet, for the rest of my life.
It’s clear he’s remorseful, but he makes it just as clear that if he was in the same situation again, knowing what he does now, that he would make the same choice. And honestly? It just makes me like him more.
Chapter Fifty-Six
GRAYSON
Seeing her walk the halls of school and not being able to hold her in my arms is fucking torture. I spent the whole day keeping my distance, but in truth I haven’t stopped watching her for a second. She asked me for space, and I was giving it to her, but I didn’t have to like it.
“Grayson, you’re acting like a fucking lovesick puppy brother, and it’s really starting to get on my fucking nerves. You’re pussy whipped, and you aren’t even getting any pussy.” I should punch Asher for that remark, but I know he’s only trying to get my attention, so I ignore him. He smacks me over the back of my head with a textbook, but I barely register the pain because I’m too busy wondering how Lia’s visit with Joseph went yesterday. I only know about it because, during yesterday’s episode of I’m a fucking stalker, I saw Dee leave with Dahlia in the car, but come home alone. Desperate for any kind of morsel of information, as soon as Dee got out of the car I was over there giving her the third degree. Dee told me she’d dropped Dahlia off at the prison after she insisted on visiting Joseph alone.
My chest had ached, imagining her walking into that facility by herself, but it’s what she wanted. I just hope if it gets too much, she at least talks to Callie. Dee insisted our girl would be fine, but it didn’t stop me worrying about her all evening.
“Are you fucking listening to me Grayson?” Asher is trailing behind me as I follow twenty feet behind Lia to the dining hall.
“What Asher? What is so fucking important?”
“I was asking if you’d come up with a way of burying your piece of shit father yet, but Christ, you don’t need to bite my fucking head off.” He sweeps his hair back and shrugs like he doesn’t care, but I immediately feel bad. He’s only trying to be a friend to me. It’s not his fucking fault that I can’t do anything about my current situation. He saw the documents we found in my dad’s safe, and he said nothing about it, but after what happened on the night of Harry’s party, he asked me what the fuck was going on and I ended up giving him an abridged version. He knows my father is blackmailing me to stay away from Lia, but as far as he’s concerned Joseph is Dahlia’s dad and until anything happens to change that, I’m not going to correct him.
“No. Apart from quite literally burying him, I haven’t come up with anything.” I grimace.
“Would it be such a bad thing if he actually released that information about Dahlia? I could ask my father to have a word with school, make sure she doesn’t lose her place. And honestly, reputation is overrated. I already know everything, and it doesn’t change my opinion of her. Not in the slightest. If anything, it just makes her more interesting.” Asher drapes his arm loosely over my shoulder.
“Not everyone is as unshockable as you Ash, unfortunately. And if reputation isn’t important then why are your family paying a PR manager to rewrite your optics on the regular?” Asher feigns a hurt expression.
“You wound me, Banks. You make me sound like I live a debauched, privileged life, surrounded in scandal.” I roll my eyes hard at him. “Fine. Okay. Point taken.”
“All I can do is wait. Hold on to the information about my father and, when he’s least expecting it, I’ll go to the police. He won’t do anything to Dahlia as long as I stay away from her, and unless he thinks I’m serious about handing him in. If I wait it out, he’ll assume he’s won, and I’m never going to do it.”
“You know that plan is shaky at best, right? It’s like a really fucked up duel where instead of holding pistols, you’re both holding grenades that might go off at any fucking moment.”
“I fucking know that Asher.” I grind out.
“I’m just saying.”
“Yeah, well don’t just say.” I know he’s right, and I know I need to come up with something better than just waiting.
We grab our lunch, and Asher follows me to the corner of the dining hall, where I sit with my back to the wall so I can watch Lia eat. She’s pushing around the salad on her plate, and it’s clear she has little appetite. Is that because yesterday didn’t go well? Whether Joseph turns out to be her dad or her brother, he’s still a member of her family, and it’s sure to have been a massive moment for her. For both of them. I could just go over and ask her how it went, but I don’t. I respect her decision to do this on her own, so as much as I hate it, I resist the urge and hope that one day she trusts me enough to let me back in. With no idea she’s being watched, she looks up and smiles when Callie sits down next to her.
“There is another option, of course.” Asher slices off a small piece of chicken and chews it slowly, nodding towards Lia and Callie.
“What do you mean?”
“Calliope Messina.”
“What about her?”
“You’ve heard the rumours about her family?” I think pretty much everyone had heard the rumours about Callie’s family. I study her as she laughs at something Lia is saying. Before they became friends, I rarely saw Callie in here. She’d be in the library or get picked up in a black SUV and leave campus entirely for her lunch. She rarely hung around in her frees and I could probably count on one hand how many conversations I’d had with her this year. Clearly her presence in the dining hall was for Lia’s benefit. Sure, Callie’s background was a little mysterious, but I laugh at what my friend is implying.
“Rumours Ash. That’s all they are. No one really believes that shit.”
“I saw her father once. In his bar.”
