Page 48 of The Absence of You
“Have I taught you nothing, boy?”
What the fuck is he talking about?
“Everybody has a weak spot. Something they are willing to protect for any price.”
A chill runs down my spine. There is only one thing in this world I really care about, but he can’t know that.
Except, of course, he does. He’s always known how much Lia means to me. My friendship with her gave me a reason to fight for myself all those years ago. It was only when she became absent from my life that I gave in fully to his demands, and he knows it. So of course he realises the significance of her being back.
“You will continue your relationship with Charlotte Sloan, and you will carry on doing whatever the fuck I ask of you, whenever the fuck I demand it. And you will stay away from Dahlia. Because if you don’t, I will ruin her life.”
His words hang in the air between us and my stomach plummets. I know for a fact he’s not bluffing. I’ve seen him ruin dozens of men. Destroy their families and their livelihoods to get what he wants. If he sets out to ruin Dahlia’s life, then he will.
My mouth dries, and I feel like my throat is closing over. I need to get away from him before I do something that will land me in jail for the rest of my life, but I’m frozen to the spot. I don’t need to hear how he’ll do it to know he means it, but I stand numbly as he details what exactly he’s threatening me with.
“I’ll start by getting her thrown out of the Academy. When she enrols somewhere else, I will get her thrown out of that school too. And the next one. And the next, until she gives up and tries to find work instead. But I will make it so she can never get a job. I’ll make sure no employer will look at her twice. I will destroy the people she loves too. I’ll move on to her precious grandmother-” His voice fades to a buzz in the background, and I don’t hear what he plans to do to Dee.
But it doesn’t matter. Because I already know I’m going to do as he demands.
I can’t be the reason Dahlia gets thrown out of school. She needs this opportunity in her life. After everything with her mum, she needs a chance to have a better life.
I will do whatever the sick fuck wants if it means he leaves her alone. I’d die before I’d allow him to hurt Lia, or the people that are important to her.
He’s still listing ways he could hurt her as I stalk out of his study, slamming the door behind me.
Later that evening, I numbly typed out an email to Coach Swanson and a text message to Charlotte. I finish my homework assignments, shower, and then I lie on my bed and allow myself to relive the weekend, just once more, before I put it out of my mind for good.
I picture Dahlia bouncing on my sofa, the bowl of popcorn in her hands. I see her in my T-shirt standing in the doorway of my bathroom, and spread out on my bed without a stitch of clothing. I think of her in that elegant silver gown, surrounded by sparkling fairy lights. In each scenario I got to see a different part of my best friend but there was always something that remained the same.
It was the way she looked at me. I recognised it as the same look she’d given me when we were children. She looked at me with reverence. In each of those moments, I saw a glimpse of our future reflected back at me, and I let myself believe we had a real chance. Bringing my hand to my lips, I remember the feel of her mouth on mine and the way her body responded to my touch every time we kissed. Fuck, I had truly forgotten what happiness felt like until she came back. I rub my chest, my heart physically aching as I feel that happiness slip through my fingers
Years ago, I’d made a promise to myself that I’d protect her, and I know pushing her away is the only way I can do it.
Chapter Forty
DAHLIA
Despite it being Monday morning, I can’t wipe the grin from my face. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been counting the hours until I could spend time with Grayson again. We’d exchanged a couple of short texts yesterday, but I haven’t seen him since the ball. It’d been a late night so I’d had a lie in and spent the rest of the day studying. The only thing putting a dampener on my day is the email early this morning from Coach Swanson instructing me to join the rest of the class for swimming today. It seems a bit out of the blue. Grayson hadn’t mentioned he’d reported back to her about my progress yet. I feel sure he would have tried to extend our lessons a bit longer if he could. But even the thought of my first group swimming lesson this morning isn’t enough to sour my good mood entirely.
Humming to myself, I park Dee’s car and cross the car park as Grayson’s car pulls up in his usual spot. Smiling, I head over to say good morning. Just as I approach, his passenger door opens and Charlotte climbs out. I still. A second later, the driver’s door opens and Grayson gets out of the car. She’s laughing at something he said, and I can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at the easiness between them. They look good together.
Grayson has told me plenty of times they aren’t in a genuine relationship anymore, and I trust him, but seeing them like this, so natural, it plants a tiny seed of doubt.
I don’t think he’s lying about their situation, but it still reminds me he has a shared history with Charlotte too. I can’t erase the last few years. It’s moments like this that serve as a stark reminder that she’s played a more significant role in his life than I have recently. Maybe I’m being irrational, but it hurts.
Grayson rounds the car to stand by Charlotte when he suddenly notices me. His posture stiffens as he slings his bag over his shoulder, but he carries on his conversation with Charlotte, not meeting my gaze. As I try to make my mind up whether I should just brazen it out and say good morning to them both or whether to cut my losses, Callie pulls up next to me in her red sports car. She climbs out and looking between us all, she seemingly realises I need saving from this awkward as fuck situation.
“Hey, Dahlia, thanks for meeting me out here.” I nod, feeling both Charlotte and Grayson’s gaze on me, and not trusting myself to speak. “Come on, I need to talk to you about something before lessons start.” She smiles sympathetically and links her arm into mine, gently tugging me towards the academy building, but before we make any progress, Charlotte calls out in her singsong voice,
“Morning girls.”
Callie and I both turn towards her resignedly, and I pin a smile on my face. “Hi Charlotte. Hi Grayson.” I clench my teeth as I watch her grab hold of his hand, and he does nothing to move away. Silence stretches between us all as I struggle to drag my eyes away from where their hands join.
“Dahlia, Callie.” Grayson greets us gruffly. Well, this is awkward. The morning bell sounds faintly in the distance, and Charlotte tugs on Grayson’s arm.
“I have to get to class. Thank you so much for the lift, handsome,” she mock whispers in his ear, ensuring we hear every word she’s saying. “And thank you for you know what.” She runs her hand down his chest and kisses his cheek, before throwing him a wink as she walks off towards the sports hall. I frown. That looked like way more than just a lift to school. Frozen to the spot, I wait for Grayson to tell me it isn’t what it looks like, but he just stands there unapologetic, his face impassive. When he does eventually speak, his words are cold.
“Dahlia, I can’t help you with swimming anymore. I’ve let Coach Swanson know. It’s not fair to Charlotte, and I’m too busy working for my dad, anyway.”
