Page 28 of The Absence of You
DAHLIA
AGE 12
“What do you want to be when you grow up? If you could be anything at all?” I rolled over onto my tummy and picked another daisy out of Dee’s lawn while I waited for my best friend to answer. He was lying on his back next to me, his cap pulled down over his face to block the bright sunshine. When he didn’t reply, I flicked the peak of his cap to tell him off for ignoring me, but his eyes were shut. He was sleeping. He’d been doing that a lot lately, napping in the daytime, like he wasn’t getting enough sleep at night. Carefully, I placed the hat back over his face.
For the next few minutes, I watched him, marvelling at his ability to fall asleep anywhere. I didn’t want him to get sunburnt, so I dragged the parasol and its heavy stand over so we had some shade. A small spider dropped out and landed on his t-shirt, so I leant over to brush it off him, but I caught my finger on the hem of his top and it lifted up, revealing a strip of his tummy. I frowned when I saw there was a dark purply bruise on his left-hand side. I couldn’t see where it started and ended without moving his top more, but it looked big. How the hell did he get that? He hadn’t mentioned it to me. I bite on my bottom lip hard, only stopping when I tasted metal. I rubbed my thumb across the broken skin, waiting for him to wake up.
Eventually he did. He sat up and stretched before realising I was waiting, just watching him.
“Hey.” He blinked and rubbed his eyes.
“What happened to your tummy?” Maybe I should have asked more sensitively because he looked shocked. I wasn’t letting him off though. I wanted an answer, so I waited.
“I banged it.”
I gave him the look. The one that said, don’t bother hiding from me because I can see you. It’s always been that way between us. No secrets. No lies.
“My dad.”
I inhaled sharply. I suspected, but hearing him say it aloud was still… a shock.
“We have to tell someone.” I tried to keep my voice steady. My best friend needed me to be strong.
“No. We don’t.” Okay, I got that he was worried, but we have to. We could tell Dee, and she would fix this. Right. Right? “We can’t tell anyone, Lia. He said no one will believe me. He said they will investigate and find no evidence, and then he will be very angry at me.”
I frowned. “There is evidence. Look at your tummy. Dee can take a photo.”
“What if he hurts her, Dahlia? Or he hurts my mum? Or if he’s right and they don’t believe me, and then he does something worse? It’s not even that bad. It hardly hurts.” He pulled his t-shirt down and tucked it back into his shorts as if that proved anything.
“I know you’re scared, but we have to tell someone.” I knew that was the right thing to do. God knows they drilled it into us enough times in the health and social lessons in my school. Maybe they didn’t teach that stuff in Grayson’s school, but I would help him. I stood up and held out my hand to pull him up, but he pulled me back down, so we were sitting facing each other, knees to knees, our chins resting on them.
“What if I tell them and they make me live somewhere else?” I looked into his broken blue eyes. “We would never see each other again.” The thought of that was unbearable. So I did as he asked and kept quiet. We didn’t say anything to Dee that day. Or any of the times after that.
DAHLIA - PRESENT
After my last class on Monday, I stay late to research my Psychology assignment in the school library. I’m making good progress, but when I check the time, I realise it’s already past seven o’clock. Bad weather had been threatening all day, and by the time I gather up my books, it’s raining heavily and starting to go dark. Dee dropped me off this morning, so I don’t have the car with me. Pulling on my coat, I decide to take the shortcut home through the woods behind the residents’ building. Hopefully, the trees will afford me some protection from the weather.
A bitter wind whips at my face as I cross the empty car park, and I curse myself for not heading home earlier.
I’ve walked this route a few times before, but autumn has set in since, and I soon realise it’s a lot different doing it in the dark. A couple of minutes into the woods, and I’ve lost my bearings. A loud crack of thunder makes me jump, and I pull my coat tighter. Coming to an unfamiliar fork in the path, I stop to dig around in my bag for my phone so I can use the torch. My hands are beginning to go numb with the cold, and the instant I pull it out of my bag, it slips out of my grip, thudding on to the muddy ground.
“Damn it, where are you?” I crouch down, blindly feeling for it. I’m in the denser part of the woods now, and the storm has drowned out what was left of the daylight. A shiver runs down my spine, and I swallow hard. Coming this way after dark was a seriously stupid idea. I need to stop relying on my instinct, as my judgement has been way off the last few weeks. I can’t afford to lose my phone, but there’s only so much I can do about it in the dark.
Just as I’m about to give up on the search, my foot nudges into something. Thank fuck. I pick it up and turn on the torch and start walking again. My joy is short-lived as the light quickly fades when my battery dies a few seconds later. Of course it has. Urgh, why can’t the universe give me a break? Just this once.
I chew on my bottom lip, unease beginning to build in my gut. I am most definitely lost. Maybe I’d be better to head back the way I came? I can ask the academy’s security if I can use their phone and call an Uber. My mind made up, I walk hastily in, what I hope is, the right direction. Looking around, trying to spot any sort of light from the academy, there’s a rustling behind me. It’s probably just a bird or squirrel, but I walk a bit faster.
There it is again, louder this time. The hairs on my neck stand up. I’m struggling to see the ground in front of me, and I catch my foot on something. Stumbling, I feel a sharp pain in my ankle. Could this evening get any worse? My ankle is throbbing as I try to keep up the quick pace and tears begin to prick behind my eyes. Blinking them away, I try to tell myself to stop panicking. I’ve been through worse than this.
Feeling well and truly sorry for myself, the tears begin to flow freely now as I carry on hobbling through the woods. Small branches scratch and claw at my face, and I know I’m on the verge of losing it completely. My eyes are so blurred with tears I don’t realise there’s somebody in front of me until I slam into a hard chest wall.
“Hey, easy!”
I’d recognise Grayson’s deep drawl anywhere. Clinging to him in relief, his firm hands cup the back of my head, tangling in my hair. I press my cheeks to his chest. Focusing on the steady thumping of his heart, I manage to slow down my breathing. He rests his chin on the top of my head as I try to calm myself, and I swear I hear him inhaling, breathing in my scent. I look up at him, and he’s staring down, his gaze drilling into me. I’m suddenly aware of the heat of our bodies as they align, flush against each other. As much as his tight hug and his familiarity are comforting, I pull away. He isn’t mine, and I’m not his. Not anymore, anyway.
He must realise it too, as he steps away awkwardly and clears his throat. A deafening silence stretches between us and in an attempt to stop our brief connection slipping away again, I hear myself ask him,
“What brings you out here?” I cringe inwardly. Jesus, next thing I’ll be starting a conversation about the weather. Grayson runs his hand through his hair and adjusts his rucksack.
