Page 14 of The Absence of You
I preferred it when he was ignoring me.
GRAYSON
It was nearly 3am by the time I got back last night, and while I eventually managed to switch my brain off enough to sleep, by then it was nearly dawn, so I fully intended to spend my first lesson in the corner with my eyes shut. Unfortunately, the world had other plans for me. After listening to Dahlia commenting on Jay Gatsby and how his obsession with Daisy led to him not fulfilling his own potential, I was wide a-fucking-wake.
Maybe if I’d not been blinded by my obsessive friendship with her back when we were kids, I wouldn’t have made the assumption she’d always be there for me. I wouldn’t have believed every word she spouted about me being better than him. Because it turned out to be utter bullshit in the end.
It was the hope that made it even worse. Back then, she made me hope for something better than this life. Then she let me down, like every other fucker in my life. Even more so. At least the rest of them never pretended to be anything other than selfish. Dahlia made me believe I was important. And more fool me, because for a time, I believed her.
Dahlia seemed to be completely oblivious to the irony of the subject matter. Luckily, she was also completely oblivious to the fucking hard on I’d been sporting since I saw her standing by the desk in front of me. As soon as she whispered ‘sorry’ to me, I felt my groin stir. My dick clearly hasn’t got the memo that we want nothing to do with this girl. Something about the way her cheeks blushed when I swore at her made me want to bend her over the desk and rip her panties off. See if her arse ended up the same shade of pink as her cheeks if I pounded into her for long enough. There is zero chance of me ever finding out for sure though, as I will never let myself get close to that girl again.
My dick is still throbbing when Professor Campbell eventually dismisses us from the excruciatingly long lesson. Unfortunately, I exit the classroom and run straight into Charlotte who is standing outside waiting for me when I leave.
“Finally. Can we catch up at Lolly’s after school? You haven’t returned any of my calls since you got back from Paris.” Her whiney voice grates on me, but it does have the added benefit of making my dick instantly deflate.
“I can’t tonight. I have swim practice and then assignments to copy up.”
“When then?”
“Is it really necessary? I made myself clear before the summer that we’re done.” I stride past her as she tugs on my sleeve.
“And I heard you, but we still need to keep up our public image for our parents’ sake. You know that.” I slow my pace. She’s right. Even though there’s nothing real between us, we need to keep up a degree of pretence. I let out a sigh and tell her to call around to my house at seven.
As she walks away, I see her throw a wink at Johnathan Ackerman, and he licks his lips and openly checks out her arse as she passes. So much for keeping up appearances.
Chapter Thirteen
DAHLIA
AGE 13
It was the first week of the summer holidays and we were sitting outside Lolly’s Diner, splitting an ice cream sundae. For the last two years, since we were first allowed to come into the village alone, we have always ordered the same thing. Two scoops of fudge flavour – Grayson’s favourite, and two scoops of banana flavour - my favourite, topped with squirty cream, chocolate sprinkles and four wafers shaped like bears. It was so warm today the metal seats were too hot to lean back on, and we were racing to eat the ice cream before it melted. Grayson swallowed a large mouthful and something about the way he licked his spoon clean made my cheeks heat. I studied his face, the square line of his jaw, and the curve of his Adam’s apple as it bobbed when he swallowed. He has always been beautiful to me, but recently when I looked at him, it was different. I got a tight feeling in my chest, and I constantly wanted to make him smile so I could see that dimple in his cheek I loved so much.
My best friend shovelled another huge spoonful of the cold ice cream into his mouth, and I watched as a little escaped and dripped down his chin. I reached over and wiped it away for him, but he grabbed my hand, licking the end of my finger.
“Hey! That’s gross!” I squealed in protest, but truthfully his tongue on my skin made me feel all sorts of things, none of which were gross. He shrugged unapologetically.
“You were stealing some of my half.”
Just as I dug my spoon in to actually steal some of his half, I saw two girls approach us. They were both dressed fashionably in tight jeans and cropped tops that showed off their curvy figures. One of them came up to Grayson from behind, covered his eyes, and whispered loudly in his ear.
“Guess who?” Grayson pulled her hands down and turned towards them.
“Hey.” He gave them both a small smile as the pretty blonde girl directly behind him twisted a strand of her long hair around her finger and started giggling. Grayson looked uncomfortable. I must have missed a joke.
“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” Blondie asked, nodding towards me.
Grayson looked at me hesitantly.
“This is Charlotte from my school. This is Dahlia. She’s-” Blondie moved her hands onto his shoulders. She barely acknowledged me before cutting him off.
“Grayson, where have you been all summer? You never hang out with us.” She pouted, her sing-song voice making her sound like a five-year-old. I dug back into the ice cream, trying to appear like I wasn’t interested in his response, but each cold mouthful stuck in my throat. The three of them made conversation for a couple of minutes and by the time the girls walked away, the rest of our ice cream had melted into a sloppy mess. Grayson apologised and offered to buy another, but my appetite had gone.
Later that night, while I laid in bed, my mind kept wandering back to our interaction with Grayson’s friends. As we gotten older, there were times when he was busy during the holidays, attending swim meets and various functions with his parents, but he’d never introduced me to any of his friends. It wasn’t like we actively chose not to talk about our lives away from each other, but when we were together, it was just him and me enjoying the moment. Everything else was background noise.
But today was a stark reminder we were growing up, and it was naïve to think that we could carry on as we had been forever. He was going to make other friends. And of course, it makes sense that he’d have interest from girls.
But that girl today was so familiar with him. She thought nothing of touching him, like she’d done it plenty of times before. I felt like an awkward bystander today, and I didn’t like it. Was she his girlfriend? Had they kissed? Would he even tell me if he had? Something unfamiliar and possessive coursed through my veins at the thought of them together.
