Page 10 of The Absence of You
“Yes, sir.” I have no fucking intention of starting those assignments today or tomorrow or fucking ever. I don’t give a shit if I don’t get into law school. In fact, nothing would make me happier. I open the front door and step out onto the driveway again. The car is unlocked, so I open the boot and pull out the heavy cases one by one.
I’m just carrying the last suitcase to the door when my phone vibrates in my pocket. It’s a message from my girlfriend, Charlotte. I’m using the word girlfriend in the loosest possible sense of the word. Technically, that’s what we must look like. But like the recent ‘holiday’ in Paris, Charlotte’s just another of my father’s business arrangements. An arrangement that I want out of.
GRAYSON - AGE 15
My parents attended the Heathley Beneficiary Ball every year, but this was the first time they made me attend with them. My father insisted I came along so he could introduce me to an acquaintance of his. It fucking sucked. I’d much rather be at home playing video games than kissing the arses of some old dudes. The only saving grace is that Asher should be around here somewhere. He mentioned in school that he was also being dragged along now that his brother has gone off to Uni abroad. I wondered if I could sit at his family’s table instead of my own. Before I had the chance to find out, my father ordered me to walk with him. He marched across the room, as I trailed behind unenthusiastically.
As we approached a family near the bar, my father gripped my arm hard, almost painfully.
“You need to make a good impression now, Grayson. Firm handshake and be polite,” he muttered under his breath. “Mr. and Mrs. Sloan, this is my son, Grayson. Grayson, this is Justin Sloan and his lovely wife Harriet, and this is their daughter, Charlotte.”
I shook hands with them all. Surely my dad was aware I already knew Charlotte. I’d attended school with her for years. Typical behaviour of my dad, though, making a big song and dance out of things for the sake of it.
Not only do I already know Charlotte, but I have no intention of spending any time with her tonight. She’s one of a few girls who’ve shown me attention recently, but I’m not interested. She’s pretty, but she knows it. Confident and loud, and one of the popular girls at Heathley Academy. Based on the locker room gossip, plenty of guys would give their left nut to go on a date with her, but I mostly find her irritating.
As I was about to make my excuses and go find Asher, the music was lowered and the waiting staff informed us it was time to sit for dinner. We had been seated with the Sloan’s and even worse, my place card was next to Charlotte’s. Charlotte appeared to be thrilled, and as we sat down, she slid her chair closer to mine.
“I finally get some alone time with you,” she purred, stroking my arm with her manicured nails. “There always seem to be people around when we’re at school.” I grimaced at how forward she was being as the waiters started filling the wine glasses on the table. Despite our obvious age, the waiter filled both mine and Charlotte’s glass too. Perhaps the rules don’t apply when your parents are paying through the nose for the meal.
“So, Grayson, your mother tells us you’re a swimmer?” Mr. Sloan asked me through a mouthful of chicken fricassee. You can buy posh food, but you can’t buy manners, it seems.
“Yes, sir, I just won the regional finals, and Coach says with my recent times, and some hard work, I may qualify to try out for Team GB in a year or two.”
“How amazing,” Charlotte gushed while my father just frowned.
“Yes, well, he is a splendid swimmer, but that’s just a hobby. His real interests lie in business law, don’t they, Son?” I nodded, wondering if there had ever been a fifteen-year-old boy alive who was interested in business law. “After he’s finished at the academy, he’ll attend Heathley University and join the family business once he graduates.” I took another gulp of the wine, hoping this meal would be over soon. My attendance at this type of event seemed to be becoming more regular, and it was boring as hell.
I hated pretending I was something I wasn’t. Sitting here in a stuffy dinner suit, schmoozing with my parents’ friends, a fake smile slapped on my face. The only time I could really be myself was when I was with my best friend Dahlia, or Lia as I liked to call her. If she were here, we’d be having fun. Didn’t matter what we were doing, when we were in each other’s company I could put up with most things.
Today was the start of the half term break, which meant Lia was due to arrive in the next day or two. I just needed to get through tonight and I’d have the week with her. I smiled to myself at the thought.
After the meal finally finished, my father suggested I ask Charlotte to dance while he and Mr. Sloan went to the bar to discuss a business arrangement.
“They’re talking about us, you know?” said Charlotte as she draped herself over me, and I did my best to touch as little as possible of her. I looked at her quizzically. “Their business arrangement is to do with us. I overheard my parents discussing it earlier. They think it would benefit both of our families to forge an alliance and for you and I to be in a relationship.”
I scoffed. “You’re joking, right?” I stared at Charlotte, not actually believing she was being serious right now. She looked offended.
“Would it be so horrendous? You can concentrate on your swimming, and I won’t say anything about it. Your father will think you are busy with me.”
“And what do you get out of this arrangement?”
“A date. Once a week. You can choose where. I like you, Grayson. I can tell you aren’t really interested in me like that, but maybe when you get to know me better, you’ll change your mind.” Over Charlotte’s shoulder, I watched my mum smiling at me as she chatted with Mrs. Sloan, and I thought of all the ways I’d changed my behaviour over the years to keep the peace at home. I guessed this would be no different.
GRAYSON - PRESENT
Three years later and I’m still living with that decision. I should have fought him on it. I doubt it would have made any difference, but I’ll never know now.
At first, Charlotte and I were just together in public, but eventually, we were together for real. I was never in love with her, but we were in a relationship for a while.
Over the last year, we’ve drifted further and further apart. Spending less time together, making little effort to keep up the façade. Initially she started flirting with guys in front of me. Trying to get a rise out of me. When that didn’t work, she started going home from parties with other guys. But the thing was, I didn’t care. I only entered into the relationship with her for my father, and there were never any strong feelings on my part, so when she tried to rub my face in her indiscretions, I couldn’t give a fuck.
At the start of the summer holidays, I told her I was done. I said I would continue with the front, for our parents’ sake, but that there was nothing between us and she was free to see who she wanted. She’d told me she’d be waiting for me when I eventually got my ‘head out of my arse’ and realised I wasn’t going to meet anyone better than her. But I wasn’t looking for anyone else, I was just tired of fucking pretending.
My phone vibrates in my pocket again. I don’t bother answering it. Anything she has to say to me, she can say in school tomorrow.
Chapter Ten
DAHLIA
