Page 65 of The Absence of You
“Where are you man? I need your help.”
“I’m at Harry’s. Impromptu birthday party, get your arse round here.” His speech is slurred. I was hoping he’d help me so I could cover more ground, but he’s clearly in no fit state.
“Not this time. I’ve got something I need to deal with.”
“Your loss bro. Half the school are here. Even your girl and Callie have just walked in.”
Twenty minutes later I’m pulling into Harry’s driveway. The party had obviously started early. They must have all got on it straight from school because the huge driveway is full of cars, red Solo cups already litter the lawn, and you can hear the music halfway down the drive. I dump my car and go into the house.
Asher wasn’t kidding. There are academy kids everywhere, and some from the university too. I push past people, going from one room to the next, ignoring anyone who tries to start a conversation with me, not giving a crap if I’m being a dick, but I can’t see her anywhere. I’ll kill Asher if he was lying about Dahlia just to get me here. I wouldn’t put it past him. He can be a selfish twat when he wants to be. I’m about to give up when I spot her through the kitchen windows.
She’s out back, sitting at the side of Harry’s outdoor pool. Lia and Callie are deep in conversation, their heads bowed together. They’ve taken off their shoes and socks, and they have their legs swinging in the water. I’ve been here enough times to know the pool water will be warm. Harry’s a rich bastard and his family keep it heated so they can use it all year round. It’s dark outside but the area is lit by large patio heaters and spotlights within the pool itself. Plenty of other kids are already in there, in various stages of undress, but the only person I have eyes for is her.
From this distance, it’s easy to pretend she’s just another teenager. Enjoying a party, chatting with her friend. But I see it. I see her. The hunch of her shoulders, the red rim of her eyes, the way she picks at the hem of her skirt. Her devastation is clear and knowing I’ve been a contributing factor is something I’ll never forgive myself for.
For as long as I’ve known her, she’s been desperate for the truth. But finding out like this has to be a head fuck. Dee was pretty much the only person in her family that still had her trust, so to discover she’s been covering it up, has got to be immeasurably painful. And as far as Dahlia knows, I’m complicit too. She used to think of me as her best friend. Once upon a time, she trusted me more than anyone else, but I’ve pretty much obliterated that trust in the last few weeks. I haven’t told her the whole story about Charlotte and my dad. I didn’t tell her as soon as I found out about her dad. Fuck, I’ve even lied about my feelings. Over and over. I should have been honest with her from the day she came back.
Callie is listening intently to Dahlia, and it’s reassuring to know she has a genuine friend who she can lean on. As if she knows I’m thinking about her, Callie looks up and glares at me. Dahlia glances up to see what has made Callie pause. Seeing me, her posture stiffens, and even from a distance I sense the tension radiating off her in waves. By the time I get to their side of the pool, they’re standing up, but before I can get too close, Callie steps forward creating a barrier between myself and Dahlia.
“No. Not now. She needs some time.” Dahlia stays behind Callie, her body turned away from me, refusing to meet my gaze.
“Dahlia, please,” I plead loudly, “I need to talk to you. It’s not what you think.” At my words, she rounds Callie, marches over to me and jabs her finger into my chest.
“You don’t know what I think! None of you do. You knew how much I wanted the truth, and you had it the whole time. You, Dee, Mum. All of you knew, and I was in the dark. All of you treat me like I’m a child, but I’m a fucking adult!” Her voice is rising and has caught the attention of the kids outside, most of them stopping what they’re doing to listen. I grab her hand where she’s still prodding me in the chest.
“I only just found out. Please, Lia, let me explain.”
“When did you find out? Today? Yesterday? Years ago?” She pulls her hand from my grip.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me!”
I’m fucking this up, I need to just answer her questions honestly. “I’ve known for a few days.”
“So why didn’t you tell me as soon as you found out?”
“You weren’t here. I thought you’d gone again. I didn’t know you’d just gone up to visit your mum. I thought I had time to find out the entire story. I was going to find out all the facts and then come up to Liverpool to see you. It was never my intention to hide it from you. Then this morning you took me by surprise. I was so happy you were back and that you wanted to talk to me. That was all I could think about.” I step back a little so she can see me properly. “I know I’ve not given you any reason to trust me, but I promise you, I planned to tell you everything I’d learnt. You deserve to know the truth.” She scrutinises my face, looking for a lie. Eventually she lets out a breath, and her shoulders sag like she no longer has the energy to fight with me. “Will you let me take you back to Dee’s so she can explain?”
“No.” She spits out vehemently. “I’m staying here. I’m going to have a few drinks and a good time. What’s a few more hours of ignorant bliss after all these years in the dark, right?”
She pushes passed me and heads towards Harry’s house. Callie shrugs at me and scurries after her. Her anger seems to have lessened somewhat, but she still doesn’t have all the facts. I follow after them and as I walk through the kitchen door, a blond girl I don’t recognise, hands Dahlia a shot and she downs it. I watch as she sinks a second, before grabbing a beer.
She heads into the living room where the majority of the guests are dancing. She drains her beer in a few long swigs and dumps the empty bottle with dozens of others on a coffee table. Heading to the centre of the room she starts to sway and lose herself in the music. I find a dark corner and lean back against the wall, figuring while she might not want my company, I can still keep an eye on her. She doesn’t look like she’s in the right frame of mind to be partying without supervision tonight.
An hour later and Dahlia’s crashed on one of the large sofas. Harry’s sitting next to her, whispering in her ear. Whatever he’s saying must be amusing her as a lazy smile creeps onto her face. A wave of jealousy hits me. I miss being the person to put that smile on her face. I resist the urge to pull the motherfucker out of his seat and pull her into my lap. Instead I watch them for a bit longer. She’s clearly shitfaced now. Her eyes are beginning to droop. Harry leans closer to her and puts his arm around her, his other hand feathers over her knee. She’s leaning into him, completely out of it now. He stands, heaving her up with him. She’s unsteady on her feet, but he tucks her under his arm and walks her towards the stairs. Hell no. I shoot out of my own seat and jerk Harry away from her.
“Get your hands off her you fucking prick. She’s barely conscious!” He starts to protest, but I see red and swing my fist into his jaw, connecting with an audible thud. Around me chants of, “Fight, fight, fight,” start. I grab him by the shoulder and haul him into the middle of the room. As I go to hit him again, he seizes my fist and yells in my face,
“Stop! Grayson, fuck! I asked if she wanted to go somewhere quiet so she could sleep. Jeez, dude, I’m not a fucking perv’. I was going to let her use my sister’s room. That’s all. It has a lock on the door. I was just putting her somewhere safe to crash. I swear I wasn’t going to try anything.” He slowly releases my fist and holds his hands up.
I turn to see Callie at his side, holding a glass of water. “It’s true. I was just getting a drink to take up for her.”
My head clears a little. I’ve known this guy since we were kids, and he’s never been anything but decent with girls. He was trying to be a good guy, and he got punched in the face for his efforts. I need to cool the fuck down.
“Where is she?” Callie asks, looking around the room, but Dahlia’s nowhere to be seen.
Chapter Fifty-One
