Page 18 of The Absence of You
Chapter Sixteen
GRAYSON
“There’s a helicopter on me!”
“Shit, you’re nearly at 5 stars, you’ve got to lose him,” Callum urges me. I’m so fucking close. Asher’s parents are in Europe, so we’ve taken over his games room for the last few hours playing GTA, having a few beers and pizza with the guys. It’s been the distraction I’ve needed from this morning’s run in with Dahlia. I try not to overindulge during the swim season, but I really needed to blow off steam tonight. “Ahh, wasted, dickhead!” I shrug, draining my beer before tossing the games controller to Callum.
I head over to the makeshift bar Asher has set up in the corner. A stack of shot glasses and a couple of bottles of spirits have appeared. Looks like we’re moving on to the hard stuff then. I pour out a few vodkas and hand them around. We all throw them back and cheer. I’m pouring us all another round when there’s a whoop and the volume in the room increases suddenly. Asher has turned the music up and there’s a slow stream of Heathley Academy girls coming through the door, including Charlotte. She heads towards me and wraps her hands around my neck, swaying and giggling. Looks like it’s not just us partying tonight.
“So lovely to have your company ladies.” Asher croons, greeting them all with a bow and a kiss on the back of their hand. Anyone would think he was brought up in a royal household the way he’s camping it up. I roll my eyes. The girls fucking love it, though. I have no doubt he’ll be hooking up tonight. I wonder what my life would be like if I’d not been with Charlotte for the past couple of years. To score with someone and it be because we’re attracted to each other, for it to be about nothing but a quick fuck. I’m not sure I’d want that either, but I envy that he’s had the choice.
I accepted a long time ago that I was going to have little in the way of choice. My decisions have been dictated to me by my father for as long as I can remember. Until three weeks ago, I was okay with that. Maybe not okay, but I was living with it. But ever since Dahlia’s been back, I’m questioning everything. Wanting to fight back again. It’s screwing with my head. Since our conversation in the book shop I’ve avoided talking to her, but just her mere fucking presence at school is like a siren song, making me relive my childhood and reminding me of the dreams that little boy had.
Several hours and even more shots later, and the gathering is starting to wind down. Most people have gone home. I throw the worst of the rubbish into a bin bag and head outside to the hot tub to tell Asher I’m going to crash in one of his spare rooms. He’s outside with a couple of girls. By the looks of it, the three of them have decided not to bother with swimsuits and just stripped off. Asher is sitting on the edge of the hot tub. One of the girls is crouched between his legs with her back to me. It’s pretty fucking obvious what she’s doing. He has a tight grip on her hair while she bobs her head up and down. The other girl is sat next to him with his mouth clamped onto one of her nipples as she holds her other tit in her hand, her head thrown back in pleasure. I avert my eyes,
“Ash, thanks for tonight. Am I okay to crash here?”
“Always G. You sure you don’t want to join us?” He offers. “Charlotte never needs to find out.” I appreciate his loyalty, but I’m not even slightly tempted. Not because of Charlotte, but because, as much as I hate to admit it, there is only one girl getting my dick hard at the moment.
I decline and head to the kitchen to get a bottle of water to take upstairs with me. Could do without a hangover tomorrow. I’ve been to Asher’s place enough times to find my way around in the dark, so I don’t bother with the lights. It’s only when the glow from the inside of the fridge illuminates the room that I realise I’m not alone. Charlotte’s best friend Meghan is sitting at the breakfast bar, a coffee in her hand.
“Why are you sitting here in the dark?” I assumed she went home with Charlotte a while ago.
“My head was banging, so I was looking for some tablets. Ended up making a drink,” she answers. “Do you want one?” I could use a coffee, so I nod and sit down at the island while she pours another cup. Charlotte and Meghan are often a package deal, so while I wouldn’t call her a friend, we are often at the same parties and social events. We rarely spend time together just the two of us, though. She passes me the mug of coffee and moves hers closer, taking the seat next to mine.
“How was your summer? I’ve not seen you around much.” Looks like we’re doing small talk then.
“Yeah, not bad. I’ve been busy with swimming and working for my dad so haven’t had much time to hang out. How about you?”
“It’s been okay. Spent most of it partying, but my dad’s been piling on the pressure since we’ve been back at school. Doesn’t look good if the daughter of the sixth form principal doesn’t pass all her exams with flying colours, right? We’re barely a few weeks in, and he’s already riding my arse about it.”
I don’t have any lessons with Meghan, so I have no idea how she’s doing in her classes, but if she’s anything like Charlotte, I’m guessing studying isn’t high on her list of priorities. She’s liked to party hard as long as I’ve known her.
“Are you going to Heathley University next year?” I ask, not giving a shit about her answer.
“I don’t know. Guess I thought I’d meet a guy and just support him with whatever he’s doing.” Seriously, that’s her plan? Fucking hell, ambitious much? I think of my mum, supporting my dad for all these years. No career of her own. I get for some people that works but to pin her long-term life plans on that seems crazy.
“Surely there’s something you’d like to continue studying?”
“You think I’m bright enough to have a career? What could you see me doing?” She turns towards me, her eyes widening. Jesus, I’m not a fucking career advisor.
“You can do anything you put your mind to,” I reply automatically. She moves her hand to rest on my forearm.
“That means a lot coming from you. I really value your opinion.” I’ve had a lot to drink tonight, but I’m not oblivious to the fact she is deliberately batting her eyelashes at me. She’s sticking her tits out, brushing them against my upper arm, in a blatant move to get me to look at them. Some friend she is to Charlotte. I resist the urge to roll my eyes, and I stand up from my stool and pat her hand.
“Good talk. Catch you at school.” I grab my bottle of water, and as I’m about to leave the kitchen, she calls after me.
“Charlotte is cheating on you. I love her, she’s my best friend, but you should know what she’s doing behind your back.” I stop walking.
Fuck, I should be reacting with rage or jealousy or something if I’m going to avoid raising suspicion about our relationship, but it’s hard to fake that shit when you genuinely don’t care.
“I’m just telling you so that if something were to happen between us, then you wouldn’t need to feel guilty.” The boldness of this bitch. Not in this lifetime, or the next, would anything be happening between us. Charlotte or no Charlotte. I don’t trust myself to speak, so instead I walk out and slam the kitchen door behind me.
DAHLIA
I spend Sunday in bed, watching movies and feeling sorry for myself. The rest of my first shift yesterday was quiet. Unfortunately, that gave me plenty of time to replay the conversation with Grayson over and over in my mind. And when I got home, those thoughts continued to haunt me, so much so that I barely slept, and when I woke up I couldn’t find the energy to do anything.
I need to explain to Grayson properly what happened three years ago, but I can’t help but think I’ve missed my opportunity. What would I even say to him if he did give me the chance? At the time, it genuinely felt like I didn’t have a choice. My mum’s drinking had been getting worse. She was missing more and more shifts at work. I applied for that job in the café to help with money, and when I made the decision to stay back and work and look after her during that first half term, I really thought it’d be a one off. I made an excuse to Dee about why I wasn’t coming because Mum didn’t want her worrying. But if I had spoken with Grayson, he would have seen through any excuse I made. He could always read me. And if he knew, he might have told Dee.
