Page 25 of Midnight of Ashes
“What did you do?” I whispered.
“I tried to go back. To get her out myself. But when I got there, I found out she’d already been killed. He ended her life as if she were nothing more than a piece of garbage to throw away.”
Tears burned the backs of my eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
Cillian’s hand found the back of my neck and squeezed. “Me, too. I never should’ve left her. I should’ve stayed?—”
“No.” I put as much force behind the word as possible. “So you could’ve been killed, too? That’s the last thing your mom would’ve wanted.”
Even in the darkness, Cillian’s eyes blazed. “She was alone.”
“But she knew you were free. That gave her peace.”
Cillian hauled me on top of him, pressing his face to my neck. I felt wetness there and knew he was crying. One of the strongest men I’d ever known, letting his tears fall for the woman who’d given him everything.
“I killed him. My father,” Cillian said, voice rough. “I did it to protect my half brothers, but I would’ve done it, regardless. In cold blood, with no provocation.”
I pulled back a fraction, wanting to see his eyes. “Do you think that’s going to make me run?”
“It probably should,” Cillian murmured. “I have a coldness in me. A cruelty. I needed it for survival.”
I pressed up, straddling his lap and placing my hands on his chest. “Loving you means every part of you. I love that coldness and cruelty because they kept you alive. They brought you to me.”
“Hayden,” he croaked.
“I love you.”
Cillian hardened against my core. “I don’t know if I even know what that means, let alone if I’m capable of it.”
My expression softened. “You love the people around you every single day. You’ll trust it one day.”
But until he did, I’d show him in other ways.
So that was exactly what I did.
14
HAYDEN
“You seem like you’re in a better mood,” Cáel said as he helped me into Easton’s SUV.
“And Cill definitely seems like he’s in a better mood,” Knox said with a chuckle.
I fought the blush that rose to my cheeks, but it was no use.
Cáel grinned, pulling me onto his lap and nuzzling my neck. “I’m glad you guys worked some things out.”
I pulled back, staring up at him. “You really are, aren’t you?”
Cáel’s hand trailed up my thigh. “He was upset yesterday. He needed you. I could feel his restlessness, but after you were with him, there was peace.”
My brows pulled together. “You can feel each other?”
“It’s more like a faint echo of a feeling,” Knox explained. “It’ll be stronger once we all bond with you.”
Easton’s fingers tightened on the wheel as he drove away from the house, but he didn’t say a word.
I couldn’t figure him out. Ever since the attack, he’d just gone quiet. He wasn’t being an asshole anymore, but he wasn’t warm and fuzzy either. I was starting to think I preferred the jerk. At least I knew what he was thinking then.
