Page 95 of Nine Month Contract
We get to work picking out some items for me to try on, and they all fit pretty decently. I’m impressed with how similarly sized Cozy and I are. That is not a common occurrence for a girl like me. And she clearly shops at places a bit nicer than JCPenney, so this stuff is probably worth more than my entire wardrobe.
“Okay, what do we think of this one?” I ask, exiting the closet in a yellow tie-dye maxi dress to find Cozy perched on the bathroom counter, waiting to see the next outfit. “It’s much cheerier than I’m used to. Is yellow even my color? Do I look disgusting?”
Cozy sighs. “Disgustingly perfect.”
“Really?” I ask, hope lifting my brows as I glance at myself in the giant vanity mirror.
Cozy slips off the counter and looks with me. “This honestly looks really beautiful on you.”
“But don’t I look really pregnant?” I ask, pressing the fabric to my stomach. “I swear these clothes do something weird. I didn’t even think I was showing.”
“Oh, you’re showing.” Cozy laughs. “But that’s a good thing. You look luminous, Trista. You’re super pretty.”
I flinch at that comment and look over at her, expecting to see her laughing, but she’s not. She’s genuinely admiring me like a bride who just said yes to a wedding dress. It’s kind of intense.
My sister wouldn’t even compliment me the one time I saved up all my server tips and bought a dress for my first high school winter formal. I remember coming out in it, and she looked at me and cringed. She said it didn’t complement my body type at all, and I better not tryto have sex with anyone that night because she was leaving soon, and she wasn’t going to stick around to help me raise a baby.
Thanks, sis.
Although, in her defense, I think I called her a cunt an hour before that for not letting me use the car for the night, so we weren’t really vibing at the time.
“Well, these clothes are great because I was running out of things that fit,” I state, turning to lean on the counter so I’m facing her. “Are you sure you’re done with these, though? You’re still young. What if you want more babies?”
“I would have been up for it, but Max is a bit older than me and felt kind of weird about being too old when his kid graduated from high school. And honestly, having Everly already made me feel like my cup runneth over.”
I nod thoughtfully at that. “Was it weird being with a guy who had a kid already?”
Cozy’s brows lift as a sly smile spreads across her face. “You know I was Everly’s nanny before Max and I…”
“Um…no, I did not know this!” I exclaim and jerk my head back. “Holy shit, that’s juicy.”
She laughs and shyly plays with the strings on her caftan. “I know. It was pretty scandalous initially, and I didn’t think it would turn into anything more than a fling. I thought he was just into me because I was convenient.”
My brows twitch at that because the same thoughts cross my mind regarding Wyatt and me. I’m living right next door to him, pregnant with his kid, just…easy access.
“But then…it became more. So much more. And the fact that he had a kid who I loved at first sight…it just…worked. Instant family.”
Instant family.I repeat the two words in my head, feeling a sense of dread because I’ve never yearned for a family. In fact, when I think of my own family, I just feel…angry.
“You loved Everly at first sight?” I ask, my tone almost a whisper as the question tumbles out.
“You’ve met her!” Cozy laughs affectionately. “She has thateffervescent spark, you know? That specialness that just pulls you in and makes you root for her. Ethan, I loved the minute I peed on that stick and found out that I was pregnant. God, he gave me such a gift growing inside me. The changes in my body, my heart…it literally felt like we had our own little secret. Our own little language of just existing together. Total happiness…even if he makes me crazy five out of seven days a week.” I notice Cozy’s eyes are filled with happy tears as she jerks back and waves her hand over her face. “Oh my God, I’m such a dick. I’m gushing about being pregnant, and you’re…”
“Giving the baby up.” I finish what she cannot, a sense of foreboding pressing down on me.
“Not giving it up. Giving it life. And giving it to someone who will love it until the end of time.” Cozy steps toward me and rubs my shoulder. “It’s an amazing gift you’re giving my brother-in-law.”
I nod thoughtfully. “So would you say you sacrificed your dream of a big family because of Max, then?”
Cozy’s face twists in confusion. “Sacrifice seems like a strong word.”
“Does it?” I ask curiously. “If you wanted more kids and he didn’t, then you catered to him, right?”
“I didn’t cater to him,” Cozy replies, her brows furrowing at me. “It’s called compromise.”
“Right, but that’s a huge life decision to compromise on, isn’t it?” I feel my pulse increase as this conversation turns from light banter to intense discussion, but I’m not one to hold back when I’m curious about something. “It’s sort of like dating someone with a different religion. At some point, someone will have to change who they are for the other person.”
“But if that other person makes you happier than you’ve ever been, then the change isn’t always a bad thing. Being in love with someone makes change feel exciting, not sacrificial.”
