Page 22 of Nine Month Contract
Not when I know it will go to a man who truly wants it.It’s already blatantly obvious this child will be loved. Cherished. And I will be one hundred percent okay with that. “No, Vada, trust me…the lawyer had me do a full psychology workup and a couple of sessions with a counselor, plus some medical testing on both of us. I’m like…bulletproof. Honestly, I got the impression the psychologist thinks I might be a sociopath.” Because heaven forbid a woman not want to be a mother.
“Oh, that’s comforting.”
“And by donating my egg to him, I make another twenty grand.”
“Twenty grand on top of the fifty-five grand plus free housing? Holy shit, this sounds too good to be true!”
“Well, cutting out the surrogacy agency saved him a considerable amount of money, and rather than keeping all of it, he’s giving a lot of it to me. He’s been super generous through all the negotiations. I get the impression he’s just happy not to have to go back to that agency, and I don’t blame him. I did not get good vibes when I was there either. I seriously owe so much to his niece for approaching me. I wonder if I could send her a kitten!”
“This is all socrazy. Then again, Ineverwant to be pregnant, so I can’t even understand people who do.”
Her tone is full of disgust, and my hands instinctively tighten on the wheel. I mean, I get it. Our upbringing wasn’t exactly the cozyfamily vibes the Fletchers seemingly have going on. Our parents acted like they loved us, but they loved themselves more.
Oftentimes, we’d go days without seeing them. I remember when we’d get low on food, Vada would stand outside our apartment complex, waiting for a random delivery vehicle to show up. She’d rush to the car and say her mom sent her down to grab it, and the pizza guy would just hand it over. My sister was always so brave and resilient. I admired her for that.
And it wasn’t even drugs or booze that took my parents away from us. I think if it was addiction, I could understand their neglect better. It was just selfishness. They were always between jobs and looking for that next big thing that would turn their life around.
And somehow, that was our fault.“If we didn’t have you girls, we’d be in a much better place. If I hadn’t had kids, I could have gotten that job. Kids can’t come to places we want to go.”And when you get told that year after year, you can’t help but hear“I wish I’d never had you. Then I’d be happy.”
It was traumatizing and not exactly something that inspired me to want a family of my own. And even though I know I’m a better person than both my parents put together, I can’t get past the fear of hurting a child the way my parents so easily hurt me. Which is why animals are the safer bet.
However, a strange part of me still wants to know what it would feel like to have something growing inside me. To have something that I create with my own body. Will it feel like a mini alien trying to kick its way through my ribs? Will this even work, and I’ll get the chance to know? Something in me feels like my strange upbringing might make me uniquely good at this.
Either way, maybe telling my sister was a bad idea. Our relationship is strained at best. She moved to Hawaii with her boyfriend, Kai, when I was just sixteen and hasn’t returned to Denver once. Meanwhile, I’m still here…living alone in the same place we grew up in and trying to make a life for myself. It’s hard not to feel like everyone left me behind.
A knot forms in my throat as the image of me standing in ourempty family apartment flashes through my mind. I thought I’d feel relieved when I left earlier today…like I was finally getting out. But honestly, I just felt sad. Like all my childhood had to show for itself was a dingy, worn-down two-bedroom with potbellied pig stains on the carpet.
“How does this dude have this kind of money on hand? Is he loaded?”
My sister interrupts my inner musings, and I lift my shoulders. “He and his brothers build houses. They make a lot of green homes with eco-friendly and recycled materials. I guess they’re in high demand.”
My mind ruminates over him mentioning in one of our meetings that his own cabin is self-sustainable. I was equal parts impressed and fascinated. I’ve never met someone like Wyatt Fletcher. Someone who puts the world before himself.Certainly not my parents.
“Our deal required him to show me bank statements to prove his worth, and the salary he’s going to pay me is all in an escrow account that the lawyer will make monthly payments to me from. I’ve already got my first deposit, so I’m just trusting it.”
“Money before you’re even knocked up. This is crazy.”
The sign for Jamestown comes into view, and the turn for Fletcher Mountain is just after it, so I use that as an excuse to get off this regrettable phone call.
“Hey, I’m headed up the mountain now, so I’m going to lose you.”
“Okay…call me when you’re preggo!”
“Okay, bye.” I hang up and sigh. I won’t call her when I’m knocked up. And she probably won’t notice I didn’t call her either. That’s the extent of our relationship. And it’s sad, but she’s the only family member I still talk to, so I tolerate it.
My somber mood instantly lifts as I traverse the final bend through towering pine trees, and the big red barn comes into view. It’s the first building you see when you get to the top of the hill, and Millie the goat is out in her pasture, munching on some hay like a damn postcard. I park in front of the barn entrance, and she comes trotting over to the gate to greet me just as my phone pings with a notification.
Everly: Happy move-in day!
Me: Thanks, kid. Millie says hi.
I hold my phone up and send a quick pic of the goat that she hearts right away.
Everly: One final warning before you begin this great adventure…Uncle Wyatt has a heart of gold, but he occasionally treads the fine line between sweet and psycho. Nothing to be afraid of…I promise it’s always sweet, and I know you’re tough enough to put him in his place. Just keep that in mind if you ever want to stab him in the gut with a pitchfork, okay?
My eyes bulge out of my head at that last sentence. Okay, maybe my sister was right. This is crazy.
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