Page 4 of Nine Month Contract
Wait…scratch that…Baby Momma. Just a baby momma.For now.
An evil laugh echoes in my head as I type up some notes on my Excel spreadsheet dedicated to my three single uncles.
Obviously, every evil plan needs a spreadsheet. That’s just science.
Who cares about school!
Who cares about relationships!
Who cares about my upcoming senior prom that I still don’t have a date for because I dumped my boyfriend of two years. I’m moving to Ireland at the end of summer, and I refuse to be tied down during that life-changing experience…
I’m going to find my uncle a match!
“Everlyyyy,” Ethan whines. “I want to help.”
I lower my screen to conceal my master plan and turn from the kitchen island to stare into the eyes of my seven-year-old little brother. “Ethan, this isn’t really an age-appropriate activity for you.”
“What makes it not appropriate?” He stumbles over the long word.
“Well…” I bite my lip and glance over at my stepmom for help. Cozy doesn’t know of my grand plan to find my uncles love. But she knows of the Craigslist ad and my eagerness to help Uncle Wyatt find a surrogate. She shrugs, clearly struggling with how to answer this question too.
“You’re finding Uncle Wyatt a baby, right?” Ethan asks with big, curious eyes. Damn, that little kid is a silent ninja, always sneaking around and listening to the grown-up conversations. He marches over to the sink and tugs on Cozy’s shirt. “Mom, how are babies made?”
Cozy’s head jerks to me in panic. Honestly, I can’t blame her. Ethan is far too young for the-birds-and-the-bees conversation. I think I was twelve when I finally learned about the mechanics of sex, and it was my lesbian mom who gave me the talk, so then there was a second talk about sex between two women and sex between two men and stuff about fluid sexuality, and, well…let’s just say, it gave me a lot to think about.
Throwing my stepmom a lifeline, I answer, “Well, Ethan, a baby is made when two haploid cells fuse to form a single diploid cell that is also known as a zygote and that undergoes a lot of cellular division and development inside the uterus of a female over a period of nine months or so, resulting in a baby.”
“Took the words right out of my mouth,” Cozy adds with a laugh.
“Mommy, you said I came from your tummy.” Ethan sticks his hand up her shirt to touch her belly, and Cozy squeals and backs up, pulling his hand away from her.
“Totally breastfed this kid too long,” she murmurs under her breath, and I can’t help but laugh. “Ethan, I’ll tell you how babies are made when you’re older…or better yet, I’ll let your uncles tell you. Speaking of which, you better go find your shoes because Uncle Calder is taking you to the park in ten minutes.”
“Yay! Caldie is my favorite!” Ethan yells as he runs off.
Cozy rolls her eyes and glances back at me. “He says that about all of them.”
“Mm-hmm,” I reply doubtfully, sitting back to think about all the different notes I have on my dad’s brothers. They are all unique in their own right.
My dad is obviously the biggest standout of the four Fletcher brothers as he traded in his tool belt for a suit and tie years ago. And because he doesn’t live on Fletcher Mountain with the rest of them, he’s a bit of an outsider.
People in Boulder think it’s weird my uncles all live on a little compound up in the sticks, but that’s just because they haven’t seen how magical it is up there. Especially in the winter during a snowstorm when all you have is a wood-burning fire and candles to keep you warm. It’s like existing in another universe.
But my dad’s still cool. Got even cooler when I managed to make him fall in love with Cozy, who happened to be my nanny at the time, which people also think is weird.
I guess the Fletcher family is good with weird!
Uncle Calder is a case in point. He’s brother number three in the birth order and by far the craziest. He’d probably buy me booze if I gave him puppy dog eyes, which makes him wildly irresponsible, but man, he makes me laugh. Women seem to cycle in and out of his cabin every few weeks, but none stick around long enough for me to even have a conversation with. He’s going to need a strong female to tame his wild ways.
And then there’s sweet Uncle Luke. He’s much more go with the flow and doesn’t cause many waves. He’s the closest to me in age, so he feels more in touch with the times. If I ever need to talk out my feelings about something, he’s the first one I’ll call. I still haven’t figured out why he’s so against relationships…but don’t worry, I have months before I fly to Dublin. I’ll figure him out.
And finally, Uncle Wyatt…the mysterious one. He doesn’t talk much, but it feels important when he does. And when he’s not speaking, he always looks worried, like he’s trying to fix the world’s problems. It’s honestly why I want to help him so much. He’d never ask for it. And I’ve never seen him spend time with a woman. Does he even know how to date? He’s made this huge, life-changing decision to have a baby on his own, which means he’s finally ready to think about his future. And it’s my job to make sure he’s considering all the options.
Like having a baby withsomeone he can fall in love with.
Uncle Wyatt deserves a happily ever after like my dad and Momma Cozy. And I think this surrogacy thing could work out perfectly because he’ll be forced to interact with a woman for more than a few weeks.
Which is why this baby momma needs to be incredible. Equally as incredible as my stepmom.
