Page 109 of Nine Month Contract
Luke clears his throat, and I wince as I recall crawling into the bed with Trista at the hospital yesterday while he was still in the room. It was probably pretty obvious at that point, but when I saw her in that bed, looking pale and depleted, I thought my heart was going to rip out of my chest. Even when I got the call from Luke that she was passed out in his truck, I thought I was going to have a heart attack of my own as I drove a hundred miles per hour from the jobsite.
And when her eyes filled with tears, I couldn’t help but hold her. I’d never wanted to comfort someone more in my entire life. Even when my mom was sobbing on her kitchen floor six months after Dad had passed, I didn’t feel the same sense of desperation. I would have blown up the whole world to make Trista’s pain go away yesterday.
And the hits just kept on coming when she told me she wanted space.
Definitely a cause for day drinking.
I feel their eyes on me and reply defensively, “You guys are the ones who told me to hook up with her.”
“Didn’t tell you to fall in love with her,” Calder huffs.
My brows furrow. “I haven’t fallen in love with her.”
“You sure about that?” Luke quirks a brow.
I exhale and run my hand through my hair, irritation prickling in my veins because this isn’t what I need to worry about right now. “It doesn’t matter because it’s over.”
“She’s only halfway through her pregnancy?” Calder says it like a question.
“And?”
“And…how could it be over?”
“Because it is,” I snap back.
Calder smiles. “Great, then you can come with us to the sex club.”
“I’m not fucking going there with you,” I bite, my hand tight on my beer bottle, as the idea of touching another woman makes me violently ill.
“Because you’re in love with her,” Calder volleys. “Just admit it.”
I growl in frustration, fighting the urge to punch my brother in his smug face.
He laughs like he can read my mind. “For someone who’s always thinking five steps ahead, I don’t know how you didn’t see this coming, Wyatt.”
I shake my head as the severity of this situation weighs heavily on me. Before Trista, I thought I had my life all figured out. I had my land, my family, my home, my goat. I wanted for nothing in life. Except maybe to be a father. Now…I don’t know what I want anymore.
“Our pact was made for a reason,” I reply, my voice quiet. “To protect this.” I gesture to the mountain. “To protect us.” I gesture to the three of us. “This is for the best. I don’t want to go through the same hell I went through with Robyn.”
“Robyn isn’t even close to the woman Trista is,” Luke argues.
“You think I don’t know that?” My voice cracks in my throat. “You think I didn’t realize that the moment I met her? God, she’s fucking incredible. But even if I do love her, even if I admit that she has lit up my whole fucking life these past few months in ways that have nothing to do with my baby inside her…she doesn’t want any part of this. She doesn’t want a family. She doesn’t want a kid. She doesn’t want me.”
Luke makes a noise in his throat. “I don’t think she knows how to admit what she wants. She’s too busy expecting the worst because that’s what the world has given her.”
I frown at my baby brother, and he shrugs knowingly at me.
“She didn’t grow up like us. She didn’t have a family who prioritized her. Hell, our pact requires us all to be fucking loners for life because we care so much about each other.”
“Then what are we even talking about?” I cry, pain searing through me at the finality of this discussion.
“I’m saying she deserves to feel that level of devotion as much as you do,” Luke urges, his eyes softening. “She deserves to be a part of a family who actually cares. She deserves to be a part of our family if that’s what you want. Fuck our pact. We didn’t agree to it so it would never be broken. We agreed to it sowewouldn’t be broken. And losing Trista when this is all over will break you even worse than before, Wyatt. Fuck your contract, and fuck our pact.”
My lips turn down as I fight back the emotion swelling in my chest over the thought of her leaving this mountain when this is all over. It will kill me. If there is one very glaring fact that having Trista here—sleeping with her,caring for her—has shown me, it’s that Robyn isn’t the one who got away. My feelings for her were nothing. All I was experiencing back then was lust and competition. It was for sport.
But my brothers are right. Trista leaving will fundamentally change me. Will I even be a good dad anymore if I lose her? Can I live my life without her?
I stare at my two brothers, watching me with so much care and concern in their eyes it guts me. “I thought this surrogacy thing was so smart because I could avoid the heartache I watched Mom go through after losing Dad. I could avoid the shared-custody thing that Max has to endure. I wouldn’t have to deal with a Robyn situation ever. I genuinely thought my dream was to become a single dad, and a contract could keep me safe from all of that. But now, I have different dreams. I want Trista to want all of this with me. I want her to want the baby, you guys, this mountain. Me. I want it all, even at the risk of life-changing pain.”
