Page 115 of Caught Between Two Billionaires
My cheeks feel warm. I’ve turned over every rock, searching, demanding answers, and now that they’re exposed to the sun, I’m suddenly worried. “You don’t have to tell me.”
“Oh, I think I do. After all I had my cock inside you not long ago. I played with your clit while I groaned your name. Isn’t that what you said?”
I swallow hard. “You… and Christopher?”
“No,” he says sharply. “Don’t get the wrong idea. We’re not an item. Never have been. Never will be.”
“But you want to be,” I whisper. “Does he know?”
A rough sound. “Does he know? I don’t even fucking know half the time. It’s a goddamn mystery. A riddle designed to drive me slowly insane. It’s un-fucking-knowable.”
All the pain inside him pours out. It’s always been there, simmering around him. Disguised as Southern charm, when really he’s caught in unrequited love. Unrequited desire?
“All this time,” I say, slowly wondering. I’m not hurt by this revelation, but there’s time for that later. “When you wanted me. It’s because of my connection to Christopher. When you took me to the theater, when you knelt down in front of me at L’Etoile. When you first saw me in your office.”
“No. Yes. Hell, I’m not lying to you. You take over every room that you walk into. I knew there was something special about you from the way Christopher talked, and then when I met you, it was over.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means it doesn’t matter whether I wanted to use you to get back at Christopher. Or to get close to him. When I saw you, when I got to know you, I fell for you, not for who you were to him.”
“Oh, and you just magically got over him?”
“No,” he says, as solemn as I’ve ever seen him. “I wish it were that simple.”
I let my hands fall to my side, away from him. The loss feels like a physical blow. “You never really wanted me. Tell me the truth, Sutton. I deserve that much.”
Something dark moves beneath those blue eyes. “Christ. Want you? I didn’t want you, sweetheart. It was a craving. A need. Do you know how much it tore me up?” His voice comes out ragged, a man at the end of his rope. “I’ve spent the past six months trying to get you out of my head.”
“Did it work?”
His gaze doesn’t leave mine. “I wake up hard every morning, your taste on my tongue.”
“It’s as close as you’ll ever get to Christopher Bardot. Is that it?” My voice is taunting because I’m too shaken up. Too aware that I was between these men, both physically and emotionally. “You really want to suck his dick, but I’m the one who got to do it.”
He grabs my hand and presses it against his jeans. The denim is well-worn from washing. I can feel him hard and impossibly hot. “This feel like I don’t want you?”
I squeeze gently, and he makes a sound low in his throat.
“Go back to Tanglewood,” he says, a little breathless.
He’s thick and ready in my hand. I could push down my skinny jeans and turn around. He would be inside me in a matter of seconds. We would fuck like animals in this barn, but what would happen next? We’d have to face the reality that he wants Christopher.
And maybe I’d have to face the reality that I want Christopher, too.
I take a step back.
His blue gaze takes in every inch of me. I’m standing in the most unsexy pose in the history of the world, but he looks appreciative. My clothes might as well be see-through. There’s a world of promise in that gaze. And for maybe the first time since his revelation, I think he might have been telling the truth about wanting us both.
All this time I wondered whether it was possible for me to love two men. The complexity of that. The pain of it. And Sutton had been struggling with his own impossible choice.
I’m not completely clueless when it comes to boys.
Sometimes it feels that way when I’m torn between Christopher and Sutton, when I’m a small boat tossed between an unforgiving night and stormy seas. But I used to give excellent advice when it came to boys. Everyone at Smith College came to me with questions—both the girls and the boys. Gay, straight, bisexual, whatever. I’d only ever had my fingers between my legs, never a man, but that didn’t matter. I still knew the way boys thought. I knew what made them tick. I predicted their next move before they even figured it out.
But I had no idea that Sutton was interested in Christopher all along.
Had I been blind because I wanted Sutton to be interested in only me? Or had he really buried the feelings down so deep that they were almost invisible? It makes me wonder what else I’ve been missing.
