Page 77 of The Best Friend Experiment
Feeling safe and serene for the first time all day, Brooke slipped into a deep and dreamless sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Two
When Brooke woke, it was to a pounding headache. Her cheek was sticky where it rested on her hand, and her eyes felt like they’d been stabbed with hot pokers.
But Dylan’s arms were still wrapped around her, and his body was a solid, grounding presence against her back. The sound of his slow, steady breathing imbued her with a feeling of peace. And also a remarkable sense of clarity.
Brooke knew exactly what she wanted.
Him.
She’d been wrong earlier. It hadn’t been her father’s absence that had made her family feel complete. It was Dylan’s presence.
Dylan made everything easier and better, just by being there.Hewas the place where Brooke felt happy and safe and loved. He was home and family and everything she’d convinced herself she didn’t need, because she’d thought she couldn’t have it.
But he was right here. He’d offered himself to her, and then stuck by her even after she’d rejected him. She’d never believed in unconditional love, but here it was lying next to her.
And she’d tried to throw it away because she was too scared to let herself hope for it.
Brooke wanted to fall asleep in Dylan’s arms every night and wake up next to him like this every morning for the rest of her life. And she could have that.Shewas the only thing standing in her way. The only thing standing in both their way. Because this was what Dylan wanted too. He’d made that crystal clear. She could give it to him and to herself both. She wouldn’t be likeThe Giving Treekid then, because she’d be giving him something as important as what she was getting.
Brooke rolled over and pressed herself against Dylan, breathing in the familiar scent of his skin.
Shecouldlive inside one of his hugs forever. She only had to make the choice to do it. To fight for it. To keep fighting for it, even when it was hard.
His arms instinctively folded around her even before he was fully awake. “Brooke?” he murmured in a sleep-roughened voice. “What’s wrong?”
“I screwed up,” she said to his chest.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“I’m sorry I hurt you. You deserved better.”
“Hey.” His arms tightened around her, but his tone was sharp-edged enough to make her gut twist. “I told you we didn’t need to talk about that. It’s over and done with.”
She pushed out of his arms and winced at the pain she saw in his face. The pain that was her fault. “Please, will you just let me say this? I have something I have to tell you. And then if you don’t want to talk about it anymore, we won’t.”
“Okay.” He bit down on his lip as he nodded, and she longed to soothe away his pain with a kiss, but first she had to tell him how she really felt.
And then find out if he even still wanted her anymore.
She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes, finding strength in their clear blue depths. “I was scared. I’ve never had a relationship that worked before, and I was scared to try and make one work with you, because the cost of failure was too high. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you.”
“You’re not going to lose me.”
“I might. I almost did—or I thought I had, and it scared the shit out of me. I still could, if this goes really badly.”
“What are you saying?” His expression was shuttered and wary. She’d already hurt him once before.
“I’m saying I want you. I wantthis.” She laid her hand on his heart and felt the frenzied beat of it against her palm. “I want to try to have a real relationship with you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make it work, because I want you in my life. I want as much of you as you’ll let me have.”
She watched Dylan’s Adam’s apple move as he swallowed, but he didn’t say anything. Brooke was afraid he was still mad, so she kept talking in the hopes that if she said enough words, maybe eventually she’d land on the right ones, and he wouldn’t be mad at her anymore. Maybe she could earn another chance to make this right.
“I don’t know if you gave those clothing guys an answer yet,” she said. “But you don’t have to move to Los Angeles if you don’t want to. I’ll be your long-distance girlfriend if that’s what it takes. I’ll be whatever you need me to be. You don’t have to give up your career just for me. There are a lot of great programs on the East Coast, and if I really bust my ass I could be done here in a year, and then maybe I can come to you, or at least closer to you. Maybe Boston, or even Norfolk would be better.”
“Brooke.” It wasn’t until he spoke her name that she realized his eyes were glistening, and my god they were even more beautiful like that, blue and sparkling like the surface of the ocean on a sunny day.
He didn’t say anything else, just her name, and she started to be afraid her words hadn’t been enough. He was breathing kind of hard though, which might be good or might be bad. It was difficult to read the signs at this point.
