Page 27 of Watch Her Bleed
“What’s your point?” I ask bitterly.
“My point is this, Aurora,” Dr. Williams says calmly. “You freezing up when you get assaulted is out of your control. It is a trauma response that happens instantaneously. No victim or survivor of sexual assault wants to freeze up. I cannot count how many times I have explained that exact same thing to someone in this ER. It is a common theme that survivors find some way to blame themselves. They take it all in because it’s easier to accept the blame than it is to face the fact that someone who is supposed to protect you hurts you.”
“You’re going to report this, aren’t you?” I ask.
“I have to,” he admits, “but you already knew that. You are careful with your words which tells me that you have thought about getting help for a long time.”
“I should have gone by myself,” I frown.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Kaia snaps at me. “Rora. I am the one who found you. Don’t you sit there and think anything would have been any better if you had been alone.”
“At least I wouldn’t feel like I need a new job,” I grumble.
“Aurora, baby. The man hasn’t taken his hands off of you the entire time I’ve been here,” Kaia says. “I don’t give a shit how long you’ve known him. He cares about you. He cares about your health. He cares that someone hurt you. I get that you’re not used to anyone other than me taking care of you, but stop lying to yourself. You don’t want to quit your job any more than he wants you to.”
“You are annoying,” I frown at her and she smiles.
“Can I ask you my questions so I can make sure you are okay?” Dr. Williams asks cautiously.
“Fine,” I sigh.
“Are you in any pain?” Dr Williams asks.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” I say.
“That’s not an answer, Rora,” Kaia says.
“Fine. I’m sore, but I’m okay.”
“Any bleeding or bruising?” he asks simply.
“Bruises,” I say. I close my eyes and try to shove away the embarrassment I feel.
“Did he use a condom?” he asks.
“No.”
“Are you on birth control?”
“Yes,” I say. “I have the implant in my arm.”
“Good. Okay. Have you ever been tested for STIs?”
“Goddammit,” I sigh. “No.”
“Okay. That's fine. We can run a lot of them through blood work, but…”
“I know,” I stop him before he says it.
“I’d like to do that, but I’d also like to go ahead and get you emergency contraceptives and antibiotics as a preventative.”
“Alright,” I say flatly.
“Do you want me to get a female doctor?” he asks.
“No. I just want to go home,” I say.
“Wait. What’s going on?” Milo asks.
