Page 44 of The Law of Attraction
He was so startled by her language he almost smiled. “Yeah, that’s one word for it.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “That sucks.”
“Yeah, it really does.” He sat down heavily on the bed beside her. His weight dipped the mattress, tipping her toward him so their shoulders touched.
Instead of scooting away, he stared at the remains of the granola bar in his hand, almost but not quite leaning against her. “It’s one thing to be betrayed by the person you think is the love of your life. It happens, you know?”
Olivia didn’t know, not firsthand, but she nodded sympathetically.
“But Jeff and I had been best friends since our freshman year of college,” Adam went on. “I’d told him I was going to propose to Hailey. Shit, we’d even talked about what kind of fucking ring I should buy her. And the whole time he was banging her behind my back.” His eyes met Olivia’s. “Can you believe that?”
“No. I can’t even imagine. What a festering shitbag.”
She’d never loved anyone enough to get married, but she had a best friend. It was unthinkable that Penny could ever do something like that to her. If she did—Olivia didn’t even know what she’d do.
“I lost both my best friends in one fell swoop,” Adam said. “And I had to change jobs, because I couldn’t go to work every day and face her. It was almost like I lost my whole life.” His face looked vacant, like he’d gone wandering through dusty memories and gotten lost.
Olivia wanted to take his hand, but instead she pushed herself off the bed. “This calls for chocolate.”
He dropped back into the present with a jolt, giving her a questioning look. “You had chocolate in your bag this whole time and you weren’t going to offer me any?”
“It’s for emergencies,” she said as she dug into her purse.
“What, like late night motel confessionals?”
She tore open a bag of mini peanut butter cups with her teeth. “Exactly like that. I always carry emergency chocolate with me.”
He smiled. “Just like Remus Lupin.”
Sitting back down on the bed, she passed him the open bag of candy. “Hey, you never know when you’re gonna run into a Dementor.”
He popped a peanut butter cup into his mouth and drew in a sharp breath through his nose. “I never told anyone all of that before.”
She blinked at him. “Seriously?”
“I told people we broke up, obviously. But I never told anyone why. I guess some of our friends must have put it together after, but I don’t see any of them anymore.”
“Why not?”
“Because they were Jeff and Hailey’s friends too.”
“You don’t think they’d be on your side?”
“It’s not about sides,” he said, shaking his head. “They reminded me too much of what I’d lost—of the life I thought I had that was all a lie. I didn’t want to see them anymore. I didn’t want to see anyone.” Two spots of color bloomed on his cheeks. He was embarrassed.
“So you just cut everyone out of your life?” Olivia asked, starting to understand why he was so detached and standoffish at work. He’d been so damaged by this one betrayal that he’d turned himself into a hermit.
“Not everyone. I still see my family.”
“But you didn’t tell them what happened?”
He stared at the floor, miserable. “Not all of it. I was…ashamed, I guess. I felt like a fool, and I didn’t want my family to see me that way. It’s easier if people think things just didn’t work out. Irreconcilable differences or whatever.”
She couldn’t imagine what it must be like to keep all that betrayal bottled up inside. To hide it from the people you cared about the most, and push everyone else away. Isolating himself like that meant he’d never had a chance to work through it and lance the poison in the wound.
He looked so broken, she wanted to say something to repay the trust he’d shown by confiding in her. But everything she could think to say sounded trite and hollow. So instead she laid her head on his shoulder, hoping he would understand what she meant, but couldn’t find the words to express.
When he didn’t seem to mind that, she worked up the courage to take his hand. She pressed her soft palm against his rough one and twined their fingers together. His hand was warm and hers was cold, she realized when she felt his body heat soaking into her skin. It traveled up her arm and radiated through her whole body before settling in her chest.
