Page 24 of The Boyfriend Hypothesis
Penny dug in her bag for the baby hat she’d been knitting on Friday. “It’s just chemistry and following instructions. But thank you.”
“How are you holding up?” Vilma asked, quirking a motherly eyebrow at her.
“I’m fine!” she replied a little too brightly.
Vilma’s eyebrow slanted into skepticism.
“Honestly!” Penny said. “I’m feeling good about the breakup.”
“She’s feeling so good, she’s given up men,” Jinny said.
Cynthia lowered her knitting and laid a concerned hand on Penny’s knee. “Honey.”
“It’s a good thing,” Penny said, spacing out the mint green stitches on her circular needles. “And it’s not forever. I’m just taking some time to enjoy being on my own for a while.”
“I think that’s very healthy.” Cynthia gave an approving nod as she picked up her own needles again. She was knitting a complicated intarsia sweater for her husband’s birthday, and her lap was covered with a half dozen different colored yarn bobbins.
Penny didn’t mention that she’d been feeling lonely and horny. Not even a week into her no-men resolution, and she was already sick of being single. It was fine though. She just needed to get used to it again. That was what smutty fanfic was for.
Esther leaned forward for another peanut butter bar. “Penny thinks she’s too nice, and that’s why she keeps getting cheated on.”
“Oh, honey, no.” Vilma’s head tilted in sympathy. “They cheated because they were cheaters. It’s their problem, not yours.”
Penny shook her head, keeping her eyes on her stitches. “Even if that’s true, I bear some responsibility for dating so many of them. I keep choosing cheaters for some reason, and that’s on me. I’ve obviously fallen into a bad pattern and I need to break out of it.”
“Do not change yourself for men,” Esther said around a mouthful of peanut butter bar. “It’s not worth it.”
“Okay, but…” Penny hesitated, trying to organize her thoughts. “What if I want to change? What if I’m tired of being the nice girl? What if I want to try being the fun girl to see what it’s like? Maybe it’s better.”
“It’s not better,” Jinny said. “Trust me.”
“And you are fun.” Cynthia nudged Penny with her elbow.
Penny wrinkled her nose. “I have schedules for my schedules. I think I need to practice loosening up a little for my own benefit, if nothing else. Try being more spontaneous. For example—” She glanced at Esther. “How often do you hand-wash your bras?”
Esther blinked. “You’re supposed to hand-wash bras?”
Jinny rolled her eyes. “Don’t ask her, she’s a statistical outlier.”
“Okay, how often do you hand-wash your bras?” Penny asked Jinny.
“Once a week,” Jinny said, looking down at the lacework shawl she was knitting.
Penny narrowed her eyes. “Be honest.”
“Okay, every other week,” Jinny admitted. “But I own a lot of bras.”
Penny turned to Olivia. “What about you?”
“Every few weeks, maybe—but I take my work wardrobe to the dry cleaners every week. I think I should get bonus points for that.”
“And you?” Penny asked Cynthia.
She shrugged. “Once a month—but I don’t wear bras every day.”
Penny couldn’t imagine walking around without a bra, even in the privacy of her own home. When she’d weighed more, she’d even had to wear a bra to bed at night while she slept.
“Vilma?” Penny glanced at the older woman. “How about you?”
