Page 18 of Dating and Other Theories
Under ordinary circumstances, she would have made the task more bearable by texting Jinny snarky updates about how incredibly bad Jonathan’s script was. But she couldn’t text Jinny about it because Jinny was on a date with Jonathan at that very moment. Also, if Esther wanted Jinny to actually like Jonathan, she needed to protect her from ever knowing how bad this script was. At all costs.
Originally, Esther had figured she’d do a quick read, then go back through it more exhaustively a second time as she made notes. But after her last failed attempt at reading the thing, she’d realized a second full read-through would be intolerable. So she started over from the beginning, taking notes as she went along.
She had a lot of notes. By the time Jinny called a little before ten o’clock, Esther had already filled ten pages of a Word document, and she was only two-thirds of the way through.
“Hey,” Esther said, pushing her laptop aside and answering the phone. “Are you home already?” It was a little early to call it a night. She hoped that wasn’t a bad sign.
“Yep,” Jinny said. “He just dropped me off.”
Esther sat up on the couch, propping her feet on the coffee table. “Well? How’d it go? Tell me everything.”
Jinny made a noncommittal noise. “It was okay.”
Uh oh. “Just okay?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s too soon to start dating again. Maybe I’m not over Stuart yet.”
“That bad, huh?” Dammit, Jonathan, you had one job.
“It wasn’t bad, exactly, but…you know that fluttery feeling you get in your chest around a guy you really like? I didn’t get that, not once. I guess I was hoping for a little more chemistry.”
Esther brushed a clump of cat hair off the couch. “Well, it’s just the first date. Maybe you need to give it more time. Get to know each other a little better.”
“Maybe,” Jinny said without much conviction. “I felt the fluttery thing with Stuart the first time he talked to me though.”
But Stuart is an asshole, Esther thought but didn’t say.
“Where’d you go?” she asked instead, like she didn’t already know.
“This noodle bar on Venice. It was good. And the lady behind the counter called him Jon Jon, which was adorable.”
Nice. Score one for Esther’s advice. “So far it doesn’t sound bad.”
“Yeah, but then he spent like half an hour talking about the original Blade Runner, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him I didn’t like the movie.”
“Wait,” Esther said, shaking her head to make sure she’d heard right. “How can you not like Blade Runner? And how did I never know this about you?” Blade Runner was one of Esther’s top ten favorite movies. Her brother had taken her to see it at an art house revival when she was twelve, and she’d thought it was one of the coolest things she’d ever seen.
“It’s so slow! And boring. I don’t understand what the big deal is with that movie. The new one with Ryan Gosling was a little better, but still not great.”
Esther was speechless. It was like hearing someone say the Star Wars prequels were better than the original trilogy. It was sacrilege. It should be grounds for a seventy-two-hour psychiatric hold.
“That movie influenced an entire generation of cinema,” she said. “I feel like I don’t even know you right now.”
“Whatever,” Jinny huffed. “I didn’t want to hear about it for half an hour. He spent a lot of time talking. I barely got a word in edgewise the whole night.”
Oh, no. That was definitely not good. “He was probably just nervous. Some people talk too much when they’re nervous.”
“I guess.”
Esther leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling. “How’d you end things? Are you going out with him again?” If Jinny decided she didn’t like him enough to go out with him a second time, the whole plan was busted.
“I don’t know. He left it with a vague, ‘We should do this again sometime.’ Which could mean anything. I may never hear from him again.”
She’d better hear from him again. He’d made a deal, and Esther planned on holding him to it.
“But if he asked would you say yes?” Esther pressed. She’d have to coach him more next time. Obviously, the guy needed even more help than she’d anticipated. But that was fine. She could work with that. She’d be the Henry Higgins to his Eliza Doolittle if that was what it took. She’d Pygmalion the shit out of him. As long as Jinny was willing to give him another chance.
“Mmmm. Probably. He’s a good kisser, at least.”
